Planning a Baby  Discussion Forum

hi all,

am a 26 yrs old girl married for almost 4 yrs now and have been trying to conceive for the past 1.5 yrs, with no result. Have been diagnosed with PCOS and is in fertility treatment. Am under so much of stress bcoz of this and am trying to relax myself by yoga and other stuff..

My main concern now, is my husband. He is a nice person by nature, but is very short tempered. In nature am not short tempered, but in this life of 4 years with him he has made me short tempered. He is a person who would never listens to anyone words, for anything. He feels what ever he does his right. Yday for a very small issue, we started a fight and very soon he started physically abusing me. I am from a decent family which even thinks that beating up a girl is sin. I am really unable to bear this nature. I get wild sometimes bcoz of this and yday i also gave him back. Then he immediately started verbally abusing my Parents, in turn in anger i also told the same about his parents. He is a person who does not know the value of anybody especially parents. I am tired of his character. But finally he says that it is me who started the quarrel and who made him lose his cool. Am so upset. Never even 1 cycle he has kept me happy for me to conceive. Now a days he has started telling me about my fertility problem also. For the past 3 days, bcoz of stress my follicles are not going properly. I am really confused. He then comes back and says sorry...I dont know why he is not able to understand that words if told cant be taken back.
I have changed a lot for him in many ways as he wishes, but he seems to never realise anything and keeps finding errors with others...Iam tired girls of him...pls help me!!!!!! Raji replied. I have PCOS and married for 4 yrs and ttc. No success so far. I'm a strong hearted and dare devil person. But, the stress of ttc has made me more vulnerable. Before marriage, i can count in figures, the times when i shed tears. But, now, tears are ready to come out anytime. As i said, we are vulnerable and we feel very weak, depressed and we need lots of emotional support. I thoroughly understand what you are going through from my experiences.

I have few words to you:
I agree that words said cannot be taken it back. We are very vulnerable during this period. Any small incident can flur it up. Stay calm and cool, you said you are following yoga, meditation etc.,. Apply it and stay cool. If you are not arguing, how long he can talk alone. He will give up after sometime. Once when he is calm, tell him about your feelings, tell him that you are hurt by his words and you need his support to get through this phase. Advantage of this is , you don't lose your calmness and he will understand you better. Words said in cool time is more powerful and stronger than in anger. Our feelings, our way of thinking, our priorities are very different from men. Most of them don't understand until you explain that to him. I'm sure your husband is a nice person and he will understand you thoroughly. As much as possible, you stay calm and always think about the bigger picture. Wish you good luck and happiness in life.