Relationships  Discussion Forum

hi ... m a working mom to a 16 months baby. my MIL & a day maid take care of my child.

schedule for me - i finish all the morning household chores, leave for work (always late in auto), work in office whole day, rush back home in the eve, play & feed my child, finish all the left over work in the kitchen, tidy the room and put my child to sleep, eat cold dinner everyday ... sleep early as my child wakes up in the night also !! its a tiring day & night ..

all the time my MIL & husband r cornering me .... sometimes for my cooked meal, sometimes for not giving time to my child & they r doing it, sometimes for my maiden family ... is this life ??

SS replied. I am also a working lady ..my kid is 5 months old now.. I started coming to office when he was just 3.5 months old. Thanksfully I am not staying wid my in laws. I had my delivery at my in laws place n my MIL made my life so miserable that I cun' t even feed my child properly.. Thanfully things are fine now but not perfect.

I hope you are earning a resonable salary.Financial independence is a big thing for females.it gives u tremendous confidence.
I wanted to leave the job after my delivery but I realized that my DH and My MIL wud really make me feel like a fool if start staying at home. So I decided to resume office.. I m paying more than 20% of my salary to my maid.n if I continue work I might not be forced by husband to get shifted to his hometown at his parent' s house.

Try n ignore ur MIL n Husband' s comments. Hire a maid ..believe n=me its a great help. I have three maids at home .. One for cooking , other one for cleanuing and washing. and third one to take care of my kid from morning to evening. That way I am able to take care of myself n family. kanta replied. Its sad but there is some hope. Little changes here n there will make ur life more comfortable. However, i do not gurantee that ur mil/ hubby will stop complaining.First, since you are working u r earning... hire extra maid service or pay the existing one more to get her do more work.so that in the morning when u go to office there is not much household work for u to do. Similarly if maid is there for such activities, she will wash/cut the veggies, tidy up the kitchen, arrange the room stuff etc when u come back to home in evening. u then have to do tadka, fry veggies only. maid can make chappaties/rice too. that way it will become less tiring for u. i assume here that ur mil doesnt helps in house work. i also sense that she makes u feel guilty that shez taking care of ur child in ur absence. For this dear, u need to be a little more vocal abt ur needs. When ur mil / hubby yell / complain abt u not spending enough time with baby, not taking care of baby etc... take a deep breath n calmly explain that the kid is not urs alone. ur hubby is equally responsible. so as a family all of u should share the responsiblility. explain it calmly n sweetly. if they ignore ur words n keep repeating same things then also ignore n u keep repeating what they r expected to do calmly. The idea is to put it to their brain that running the household n raising the kid is a joint effort, NOT URS ALONE !. all this takes time. but if u do this smartly , u can win in the end. the aim is not to cause fights in the house but to change the present situation so that it becomes less tiring for u. after few years the kid will grow up n will need u lesser. till then u ll have to manage somehow. if mil / hubby creates fuss abt u hiring more maid then ignore... explain that its very tiring for u so thats why... then ignore n hire extra help. mil might harress the maid so that maid leaves but have a talk with maid , pay her little extra so that maid too learns to ignore mil !! hope this works.. all the best. gg replied. u have describes ur life..i think its mine...are u sure?

this is story of every1 ...most of my friends also goes hru the same..waht can u do...in all my replies i say the same thing...if u want to be the best wife n dil in this world ..learn to be deaf...tis is the only solution...
Dd replied. Yes most of us are suffering this situation.