Relationships  Discussion Forum

Hi friends...

I need your advice as I got into another silly issue.

I with my hubby went to Delhi and had a gr8 new yr eve celebrations. My mom and dad are darling. We had a gr8 time together. I returned yesterday and my husband came back on 2nd Jan.

I went to my work directly from airport and only met my husband in the evening. He was looking so sad and when I asked him the reason he said nothing is wrong. However after asking for long, he told me the truth.

On our trip, we also visited her sister in Delhi. We just went to meet her in the evening (28th dec -the same day we went to Delhi) for few hours as next day she was leaving for Daman and Diu and the short visit was preplanned. Earlier they planned to leave on 28th December which meant we could not meet her at all. Hence, I didn’t get any gift for them. However, on my way to her home we got sweets for her.

Yesterday, my husband told me that his elder sister who is in Lukhnow called him up on 2nd January after he reached Mumbai and asked him what all we got for my parents. She also enquired what all we purchased from USA. called him up on 2nd January after he reached Mumbai and asked him what all we got for my parents. She also enquired what all we purchased from USA and for whom. (We went to USA at my sis place in August and bought Gifts for my MIL, FIL, my mom and dad. I asked my hubby to purchase something for everyone and he said No as we get everything in India).

After knowing all the details, my SIL started shouting at my husband and told him that he has changed and has become “joru ka gulam”. According to him she told him many many bad things. He was almost in tears while telling me everything. He also told her that we never thought of meeting his sis at Delhi unless their program changed at last moment. However, she kept repeating same thing and also said that we deliberately don’t visit my in laws. She also said that we gave rotten sweets to his sister which she threw in the bin after we left.

I am amazed. They know that I am working and above all I am pregnant. I don’t know how anybody can expect me to do so many things. Anyway, I tried talking to both my SILs in morning and I can’t believe that both of them almost banged the phone while giving silly excuses.

I never got a single present from any of my in laws since I got married but I never complained. They all being elder to my husband expect so much. We send expensive gifts on their birthdays, anniversaries but never expected anything from them. I am just irritated by my SIL s behavior. And I am sad as my hubby is sad. I don’t know what to do???


I want to ignore the entire episode and don’t initiate any further conversation with any of them (except my MIL/FIL). But am I right? I wanted to talk to my MIL about this but my husband says that she will never understand and I should not get them in between.

What to do????
Srey replied. What to do??? I would run up to him and try to comfort him. Poor guy.

Yep! he is correct. It' s best to forget about it then pray and hope that everyone will forget about that situation. sweety replied. Most people who get showered with things at intial changes becoem greedy. Remember that this is the beginning...on a personal note when my parents bought things for my cousins in India they were never satisfied so then my parents made the mistake of calling them and asking what they wanted. As time passed the list got longer, more expensive and VERY demanding- to the point where people were asking for things even we don' t own. So you see this can become the situation for you in the future.
You are a nice person for at least thinking of taking sweets last minute. If she threw them out its her problem.

As far as your husband is concerned her will feel awful for a few days and as soon as he is back to his normal routine, he won' t even have time to think about all of this. He' s right don' t bring it up to the MIL because you will be the one to get blamed.

Your MIL/FIL and your husband are more important because just as your SIL wouldn' t like her narad meddling in her family, similarly you wouldn' t like the same.

Stop stressing and let it go...this is a very common problem, do only what your heart tells you...as long as your heart and blessing are in the right place its up to the other party to get a grip.

Also best of luck with your soon to be addition to the family and I hope you have a healthy baby!

Namita replied. He is right ur MIL will never understand and vl definately believe to wht her daughters r saying ... as your SIL said that u got rotten sweets do u think ur MIL will say that her daughter lied even if she knows

its ur mistake,u shud never please people by giving expesive gifts and all ... as these people are the one who only expects more and more from others and r never satisfied .... even if you give them out of love they vl never see any love in gift rather the amt. and quality

now i can suggest u that stop talking to ur SILs, wht u r doing is absolutely right. they hve no right to ask gifts from u this way, gifts are given as a token of love it is not something which others have to snatch or demand

u better make her understand this very clearly, if at all she speaks with u on this topic

Stop giving gifts to ur SIL' s completely, if in future she says anything tell her that u didnt like the sweet that we purchased from a famous shop and even we had tasted that, u threw it in dustbin which hurted us anything ... n this is the only reason we thought we will express our respect and love for u with words rather than gifts ... b very polite no ill feelings

be good with ur IL' s ... u can give them anything unless and until they dnt complain

ignore ur SIL' s taunts that ur husaband have become Joru ka Gulam, and try to remove all this stupid things from ur husabnds mind .... tell ur husband abt. how u felt bad but never compared or complained abt. them not giving anything

dnt give so much importace to such people who can make their own brother feel bad, say bad things only for small gift

infact they shud not have a say in ur life, for whom u purchase, wht u purchase

the only solution and to teach them a lesson is stop contact with them, no gifts atall .... if they calls u up and talk b nice, if they r harsh b harsh