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Womens Issues:US born Wife of Kashmiri moving to India

2007-12-13

Name: ManzoorsPrincess Hello!

I am engaged to a man from Kashmir. We are getting married next year in the United States, and then in India having a big family wedding. We will be living in Kashmir. For myself I have few concerns about adjusting to life there. I am seeking advice for my children, whom I had from a previous marriage. They are sons ages 13 and 8, very blonde and fair skinned. How can we make the adjustment easier for them? I am sure everything is different there. Schools and food and sports, music and TV and movies. My husband is financially very well off, so they will not suffer at all there for their needs, but what are some things I can do to help them prepare for this change?

Thank you,

Kim

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2007-12-15

Name: Ritika
Subject:

Re:

Oh, I forgot to add that if you want to get an idea of the music, TV and movies, you can get dishnet and get the Indian channels. They have news channels and music channels - all anchored by english speaking people, so it will be easier to understand. Movies etc will have english subtitles...

You could maybe start introducing them to Indian food also...

Be very, very, very careful of the drinking water. Wherever possible boil your drinking water and take it. Keep some of those water purification tablets for the times when you can' t boil water.

Ask your fiance' if the toilets in his house are american types or not. Carry some TP (2-3 rolls at least). Because sometimes it is a lil difficult to find TP in India specially in the small cities.

Go to the doctor and get all the shots done before you go for that season.

Take some commonly used medicines with you...take your prescriptions...

Check out the lonely planet guide to Kashmir...that might give you a westerner' s perspective also...

that' s all I can think of right now...

2007-12-17

Name: Kim
Subject:

Thank you

Thanks much for the advice! Actually we eat a LOT of Indian food already. As far as music, we listen to quite a bit of that as well. My 8 year old knows every word of Dil Dai Daya Hai (please forgive spelling) from the movie Masti by heart :) And there´ s a Bollywood section on our InDemand cable which we watch a lot. So I guess they´ re getting a little taste of India these ways.

I don´ t know what the bathrooms are like in his house there, only that there are a lot of bathrooms! And as far as his family goes, yes, they profess that it´ s a beautiful place with relatively few issues, and I take into account that it´ s from their perspective and not that of an American, but I also talked to his first wife who said the same thing (she´ s American born woman who actually lives close by). They lived there for years during some of the darker periods of Kashmir´ s history, so....And Manzoor said " do you really think I´ d bring the woman and kids I love into a dangerous situation?"

I guess he has a point LOL....but I am definitely keeping my eyes open!

Thank you again :)

Kim

2007-12-15

Name: Ritika
Subject:

Re:

Hi Kim,

I' m glad you are taking the time to go to Kashmir and see the place for yourself before moving lock stock and barrel.

I realize you are looking forward to this whole trip with happiness and excitement...but a small suggestion (in case you haven' t already done so), keep some liquid money with you e.g. traveler' s checks, dollars etc. just as a lil nest egg for emergencies and stuff.

I' m hoping everything turns out just as you have envisioned...but it never hurts to be a little careful. Go with an open mind...but don' t believe blindly what people tell you (just because they happen to be cousins/family members of your fiance' doesn' t mean they all will be telling the truth...I' m not saying they are not...but just be a bit careful in trusting people too easily).

Keep some phone numbers like for US embassy in Delhi etc with you all the time.

I wish you all the very best...

Ritika

2007-12-14

Name: Srey
Subject:

take a family trip there with the kids

In order to prepare them, why don' t you try to plan a vacation there with them.

Take 1 month off, you your husband and 2 children can explore the place.

2007-12-15

Name: Srey
Subject:

Best of luck

Where do you live at? Here in California?

--Just asking. hehe

300, huh? that is a lot. But, the more the merrier, right?

Anyway, If and when you go, I hope you and your mini family have a safe trip.

2007-12-14

Name: Kim
Subject:

Yes...

That is the plan this summer when the boys are on summer holiday :) And then at the end of summer to move.

Honestly, where we live in the United States isn´ t the safest place either. I´ ve spoken to my fiance´ about this a lot (I am aware of the troubles that have been in Kashmir over the years) and I have spoken to many of his family members. Counting his cousins and nephews and nieces and aunts and uncles, there are about 300 in his family there total. And they are very happy there. They encourage me and my boys to come. That the troubles there are very few. But yes, we are going to spend actually about a month in Kashmir and a few more weeks in Delhi.

2007-12-13

Name: Ritika
Subject:

Re:

Hi Kim,

My advise would be to go to Kashmir once before marriage and then decide whether you want to stay there or not.

I don' t know how aware you are of Indian politics but Kashmir is in a state of insurgency right now...So things will be more than a little different and not just culturally.

Go there and see for yourself if that is where you want to live with your kids in the near future...

A couple of my cousins are in the army there and they try not to get their families to Kashmir because it is a very dangerous place.

I don' t know if others have different views...

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