Relationships  Discussion Forum

Hi, I got married four years ago and came to the US to live with my husband and inlaws. My inlaws are good to me but my MIL is kinda bossy and wants me to do things as she wants. I hate her bossy nature.she tell me how to take care of my husband who is her only child. she scolds me if she thinks i am not taking enuf good care of her son. I work and often run to work to be left alone by my family. My husband never understands this and does not want to separate with his parents. i have started feeling sad in my everyday life because i cannot live as i want to. i think it is really bothering me. my husband is otherwise an understanding person. whenever we go out for a vacation his parents accompany us and we have no privacy as such even if we want to go out for lunch/dinner etc. its me who always wishes to spend time withmy hubby alone and he never wishes so and always enjoys his time with his parents. i am tired of explaining to him that this marriage needs to be worked on and we should do things together so as to enjoy each others company. sometimes i feel i should just rent an apartment and live on my own as he wont accompany me there. i dont have kids. what should i do.? is this enuf ground to end a marriage? or should i just live alone in an apartment. pl help. i am frustrated. mi replied. i do understand how frustrated u r but i think it is not the end of everything.
pl do not take any extreme steps.

i would advice u to take a good friend of your MIl to take up this issue for you. as MIL would hear them out more than u or your hus.your hus. is in a very difficult position betw. u and his parents.

there is only one thing to say: your MIl should be made to understand that she has grown up her child for 30+ yrs now her son belongs to you. Ask her to give the space to you both. It is not that she has to forget you both but that space is required. it is very easy to solve the situation if the MIl understand then Ur husband making changes because it would cause more problems inside the house.If the FIl could be made understood it would be fine too but in this case the son can speak to the father if possible.
the next best option is ur husb. cousin sisters etc.

Try this . else slowly tell what you feel too straight to your MIL and your Hub. If your MIL considers her son' s life important she would try to make changes too.

Try your best to keep up the marriage if it does not work then think of your extreme. You do nto have to live up to this crap for ever. nits replied. Hi dear..
Dont think of extrem steps like ending marriage or living alone.
Tell your husband that after a person gets married(weather man or woman) he/she has started a new family. make him understand, like every women you also have a dream of running your family and doing things according to you.
start doing things as per your wish, if ur mil scolds you, then talk to your husband. ask him, is it not your house? cant i do anything of my choice?
i know..its very difficult to do in a joint family...still you can try.. Srey replied. Give your Hubby an Ultimatum!!

I am not saying he should give up all ties with his Mom. I want you to talk to Your Hubby and tell him to pass the message to his Mom. Make sure he knows that you don' t like the Idea that she is taking over and etc...

Honestly, I was once like this. Yes, There are times even a married man needs his Mom. Like when they are sick. OMG, They are like big babies, and it' s time like these when I want his Mother to be there and take care of him. Him calling me every 5 minutes...I don' t think so. hehe LOL

No, don' t get divorce or anything like that, Just go ahead and stand up for yourself. If she doesn' t back down then, I guess she doesn' t care about her son' s happiness.(like marrying you) :)