Relationships  Discussion Forum

Thanks Ritika,neha and simran It was indeed nice to read that at least some people in this world can understand the agony of others.My husband has mostly a travelling kind of a job whatever little time he gets he does look after our daughter like taking her to some sport activity etc. but he is too moody sometimes he would do so much and sometimes he isnt in a mood to do so.Also he does know very clearly the intentions of his mother,his brother and his wife but just doesnt talk much to them.The mother plays divide and rule in the mean time.Their bulliesh children try to be hard on my daughter too but now I try to be at a distance not letting my daughter mingle with these people,anyway they dont play with her just irritate her thats it.I have shut my mind from these tortorous people All I want is to raise myself from these petty things and be independent and a confident person,I wanted to talk to someone bcos the kind of ladies coming to our house like to degrade me.Pls. do write more on how to work on this problem,I really liked what Ritika said about the so called intelligent ladies.Thanks once again simran replied. Hi Asha,

I feel that the position of husband is very tricky as he has to balance between his family and wife.And since childhood he has been taught that if he goed against his family, he will be a bad son, most men feel guilty whenever they try to say anything against them. So in the end it comes down on wife and children. I think very few men have the guts to go against family.

In today' s times it is better to keep yourself busy and stay confident. Seriously dont bother about others and get involved in some activity. Something may be related to your previous job or something new. You will feel the difference soon.

Best. Ritika replied. Hi Asha,

I' m glad that you felt better after reading our notes.

After your second post, I' m getting the feeling that neither you nor your daughter is happy with the present staying arrangements.

Your daughter is a kid and she is getting harassed by her cousins every day..that' s not good for her self esteem also and her happiness.

Why are you staying with in-laws if they are affecting you two so negatively?

Believe me, the best way to gain confidence on yourself will be to get away from people who constantly belittle you. What do you owe them that you are suffering by staying with them?

And really, the best way to deal with those snooty ladies is to give a smart answer back every time they say something stupid. If they criticize any aspect about housewives, tell them that it seems that they haven' t done much housework in their lives, that is why they have no clue what being a housewife involves.

The next time they criticize the TV serials that you watch, ask them how come they seem to know so much about them...do they secretly watch such serials or what? and then before they can reply, say in an equally snooty voice - I don' t know about your household, but I prefer to watch national geographic or history channel (or some such thing). That way the kids also learn something...

And if possible don' t invite such people in your house. You are not getting any enjoyment from having them over. Why not be friends with people who you like and who like you.

take care...