Relationships  Discussion Forum

Hi friends,Iam a housewife and have been married for 11yrs.I have a 10 yr old daughter.I had a secure job before marriage which continued for a year or so before my daughter was born,since then I have left the job and Iam looking after my house and my daughter.An important point to add is that I have non supportive inlaws who instead of helping me a bit would try to spoil my life.Anyway,Iam trying to keep distance from them even if we are living under the same roof.Now coming to my problem lately I have found my husband comparing me to his office collegues wives who are working eg. they look after investments,or they work hard to multiply money or they are smart ,you dont have much work just sitting at home....not realising that the ladies whom he is talking about are working coolly with their kids being looked after their inlaws or maids.None of these ladies are giving quality time to thier children but yes they are smart and loudmouthed too.Iam a post graduate but I cannot brag and brag about myself.I did try to do a couple of jobs during this period which could be part time or being managed from home but nothing worked out thanks to my MIL creating problems at every step with my bossy SIL.sometimes a few jobs carried timings problem I coulnt make it before my daughter gets back,unfortunately I couldnt find a decent maid who can share some of the household responsibilities.These ladies when come to our house do make a point to mention that housewives are good for nothing or they have limited knowledge or they just sit and watch saas bahu serials.Iam getting frustrated and losing my confidence,Iam losing my self worth,Is being a housewife a taboo?are they uneducated?Is it only that worthless people become housewives?Is looking well after your child,her needs,her studies a bad thing?Pl. help me Iam very upset Ritika replied. Hi Asha,

Sorry to hear about your situation. The problem is not you being your housewife. The problem is your husband not respecting you. Being a housewife and taking care of a child all day long is much tougher than working in office. That' s my personal opinion. I work from home a few days a week and those days I feel more stressed out than other days. Running after kids, making lunch, dinner, cleaning the house, ding laundry, running other chores, can be really hectic.

Does yr husband help you in taking care of the kid? You mentioned that you have been married 11 yrs. Lot of times men don' t realize how much effort it takes to take care of a kid, because they are not that involved in it.

Have you spoken up about yr in-laws not taking care of your child or ill treating you due to which you have been unable to work?

You seem to be so unhappy with your in-laws. Have you thought of staying separately?

And abt those ladies who come and downgrade housewives, the next time one of them does that...smile and say firmly that working ladies at least get off work after evening. Housewives chores never end all day. And they shouldn' t watch too much desi serials coz that' s why they' ve formed these absurd notions abt housewives. If you keep listening to them, they will keep going on their own ego trip..nip this in the bud.

take care. neha replied. nothing wrong in spending time with children.you should make your hubby realise that such ppl do not get time for kids..whereas they run after money,job,identity etc,,but since your child is 10 yr old i think u can start to wrk. depending on your previous job or education enhance your skills and continue wrk....nothing wrong in being huse wife but being wrkg is always better otherwise guys take us for granted..but explain to your hubby abt sharing wrk load or hiring help simran replied. Hi,

Please do not lose faith in yourself. I am myself a working mother of a 8 month old girl. And I always envy housewives who can spend all the quality time with their kids. On the other side, working even partly can boost your confidence alot. I decided to stay in job after delivery seeing my in-laws attitude.

Since your daughter is 10yrs old now, you can try some work from home like taking tutions or going to a coaching center for teaching. Teaching job always gives time flexibility. Do you have any interest in foreign languages? There is a lot of translation work that can be done from home.

Do not worry much about in-laws as the case is same everywhere.

Regards