Relationships  Discussion Forum

I' m married for 5yrs,and been a victim for mil' s cunning nature.
this is not only my problem. however she is ,i want my hubby to be decent...not overshowing love on them while being touchy touchy to her always when they visit or when we visit. She always touch him for no reason and she has no love for my fil but likes to spend with my hubby. ok, still i accept her love towads her son but irritates verymuch with pocessiveness. recently we all went some place and there she showed over intimacy and asked him to sleep in her lap again and again which I told my hubby recently that I get irritated when he lie in her lap.. but my hubby obeyed her but not me. when we all r going out she stop for him and come with him while keeping hands in hands (sorry to say, but reminds me newly wed couple ). I trusted my hubby that he would listen when I say I dont like it...but HE broke my trust....
I' m toomuch annoyed with their behaviour. What to do?? I cant say a word to her...because she s very dangrous, and even my hubby also cant tolerate.

While these things nagging in my mind always, I' m loosing love and physical attraction towards him...whenever he touch me, I remind my mil keeping his underwear as pillow and getting aversion towards her and him....soryy friends, I know its somehow odd to read but imagine how would I feel when I experience it? yes, my mil , inspite of having many clothes around her, she used her son' s drawer*(underwear) for keeping under head? does it make any sense????she tell it loud if I dont notice??? She shows toomuch possessive ness towards his undergarments and pants too.. as i I dont have right on them.

Also when we roam ,she cant bear we both talking eachother and passes dangerous expressions...while visiting god, she all of a sudden, come in middle of both of us....
soemtimes my hubby has sentiment to visit god with me (couple together) but she doesnt like it ,she want to be at his side when we visit god. these all r making me cranky and cant explain..how I' m upset....Is she my mil or other lady??????


slowly loosing love for my huby who cant disobey her cheap things...an dlove her to great extent. i' m slowly staring to hate him inside... when ever he talk about his family I' m loosing goodmood and getting upset. I dont want him to talk about them always.... just want him to be decent as others....any solution???
I cant this sensitive isseue with him. he love his mother and never want to listen something against her... so what shd I do???/

Srey replied. I am sorry...But, what the Heck!!!! (Your Hubby Underwear under her pillow???)

This is super strange.

I hope she is not the other women. I mean, that would just be totally gross.

I am sorry, I' ve never been in your shoe. My husband loves his Mom as well, but, when it comes to His care or needs, I am the one....It' s me...then his Mom. Not the other way around.

If you still love him...then, you' ll just have to suffer. I was about to ask you about talking to your hubby, but, you said he don' t like to talk about his own Mom. I guess, if you come to a point when enough is enough....Just let his Mom take care of him, and You find someone better than him, OKay. not important replied. Hi,
I had the same issues during early days of my marriage but there was one slight change...It was not MIL but my SIL who was so posessive of my hubby!! & everyone in the family used to praise her, adore her & accept watver she does including the MIL & FIL & her own husband.
this SIL was my hubby' s elder brother' s wife & man , she got away with this for first 1 year in my life.She used to hold hands with him when walking, encourage him to sleep on her lap!
well, eveyrthing is over now & I have successfully deleted her from our lives & we are happy & all peacefull now.
so you must be little bit glad to know that I was in much worser situation than you but time did change!.did' nt it..dont worry, bad thignsdo not keep happening till the end..this is jsut a phase& this will pass
gg replied. y are u hating ur husband coz of that ...simply ignore all thi...
if u misbehave with ur husband it will create rift betwn u too if ur mil comes to knwo she will do more...just to irritate....simply n royally ignore all this.. this is jsut to irritate u...dont pay attention...
it happens u know my very first proposal of mrrg was like this one guy had come to see me from outsttion ..a doctor by prfession..was palnning to settle in london handsome is not the word to describe him ..very rich family...my fahter was mad after that guy he wanted ..wanted me n wantedme to get mrrd to him..n acc to my family i wud hv mevern got a guy like him...that was the first time i upset my family by rejecting thatguy....u want to knwo the reason y...u will be shocked he had a habbit of sleeping with hsi mother..i came to know later ...that guys father wud sleep in hall n his mother wud sleep with this guy in bedroom along with his youngest sis...he had a habbit of holding her ...while sleeping
2 days he stayed with us ...he uwd tell his mother mom i want to have water...mom i am hungry ...mom i want to go to washroom...i simply refused to marry him...believe me i cudnt trust my eyes...such characters to exists in this world...his mom took all his worn clothes in bag we asked her to gv for wash she said no only i wash his clothes...whn he wud go to bathroom to take bath she wud stand out till he comes out..i found the behaviour very funny n i jsut refused to marry him...there are so mnay shocking things to tell u ...his mom wud say gv him this to eat...i will never 4get him...
nolove replied. monu,
Didnt get u correctly what did u intend to tell me..sorry!
Can u pl explain ur thoughts on it?

As for my understanding, I dont know ur family situation and y ur wife has problems with them.... I never say mistakes happen from only one side contineously... but in my case, Its just from their side, not even from my poor hubby, mil' s over obsession, pocessiveness make her cranky howmuchever I try to ignore, She just tries to get it to my notice that she is doing these things.... If u find fault with my thoughts, be frank to tell me what must have been corrected in my thoughts...??? Monu replied. I seriously think you have to talk to someone INTELLIGENT FACE TO FACE about your issues. ONLINE DISCUSSION WON' T HELP.

I have problem with my wife & she has problem like you with all - MIL, BIL, SIL & ME - HER HUBBY.

I guess we exchange notes as to see IF WE ARE WRONG OR THEY ARE WRONG OR MY WIFE IS WRONG.

Monu nolove replied. shalini,
\" kissing 30+son when supercute grand kids around\" ..touched me...yes, I get irritated for similar things... I believe she shd ask my little daughter to lie in her lap instead of my hubby. but she somehow has some mental problem to be touchig always...


Even before expressing these feelings on board, I hesitated and became myself ready to get answers from those who never had these issues, and definitely thing of us mean for noticing these kinda things. shalini replied. Hi there,
Same story here also minus the underwear pillows. People think that we are narrow minded to even letting these things cross our mind. How can you even avoid whats happening around us. My Mil doesn' t knock before coming into our room & she does it on purpose. She boasts in front of her daughters that she scolded maids(which is terrible) as if she has done a great thing by doing so. When we visit her, she doesn' t hug kiss her supercute grandkids but she hugs/kiss her 30+ son. When I visit her alone, she doesnt even give me a welcome smile. She & her daughters sit next to mu husband(ignoring their poor husbands) all the time while we are there. They whisper so softly that I can hardly hear them even if i am right there in the same room. Even my mil is obsessed with my husband' s clothes. So many other things irritate me but I don' t think we can do anything abt it. Just keep your mind busy somewhere else while you are with them. Sudoku helps me when i am with them!!! niyathi replied. one solution which i can think of is,, just start ignoring ur mil' s behavior. Enjoy life