Relationships  Discussion Forum

hello ladies,
i am pregnant the second time.we always wanted to have 2 kids though this is an unplanned preg. when my baby arrives, my first one will be 2 years exact. is this 2 year gap difficult to cope with ? what should i be prepared for?
please let me know. looking at the positive side of it, i feel that as it is i hv taken a break from work to concentrate on kids. i will hv a longer break and when second one is aorund 2, i can go bak to work. else it would hv been difficult for me to take another break for a second child..may be we would not have felt the need to have a second one at all. other thing is i am happy that i will be having the seoncd baby before hitting the age of 30 which is next year.
but all thats worrying me is handling 2 kids. ofcourse there will be support from my parents and ILs but as we stay outside india, it will only be for a limited period of time. but still..
please share your experiences. mama replied. ours was planned. i am a mother of two with a gap of 2 years. its a little tuff for the 1st part for about 1yr 6months (but can be solved if you have help)later its just fun. we can see the happiness in them when they play, fight and solve their issues by themselves. its fun for them and for us too. be happy for the second one.do not worry have a great time. mbm replied. Thanks for putting my mind to rest. I have already started feeling positive now. Thanks again. shivani replied. Hi MBM,

First of all congrats !!!

Do not worry everything will be alright matter of time only… lots of patience, positive approach, and support from the elders is needed

I am working too and had same kind of apprehensions, fears and negative thinking when I was pregnant with my second child last year . The gap between my two kids is less than two years and ditto my second pregnancy was unplanned

Initial one month was very crucial as mine was a cesarean baby and I faced lots of medical problem in the initial days …but I had full support from my in laws , husband and parents ..they stayed with me for almost one month and after that I was alone with my kids ..

I had hired a full time maid and she is of great help to me till now . I was able to exclusive BF my baby for six months so no sterilization, washing of bottles etc. But you have to do lots of sacrifices such as no outing, no social life at least for initial period

The whole episode gave me lots of positive vibes, confidence that I am able to take good care of my kids and courage of course

Now my second son is almost a year old and I feel so proud and secure when I see both the kids together …. Having more than one kid is a blessing

Now I have joined back my work and look forward to see them in the evening… my in laws are staying with me to take care of my kids …

Take great care of yourself,
Shivani
aa replied. I am also in the same situation. I am pregnant with my 2nd child now. I am also little bit scared how thigns will work nd will I be able to manage all things. I am working now nd I don' t want to take break b' coz once i get break it will be difficult to get a job again. But I am considering it. Also, my first child is currently in India, I don' t know how she will adjust here..whether she likes daycare or not. I have a lot of questions in the air that I am worried about. I am planning to bring my parents with my child since we live outside usa and may be that will help me alot. mbm replied. i am really glad to hear from someone who has been in my own situation. feels good after reading your experience. yes, i agree that year 1 is going to be difficult as it is with every baby. thanks for the playschool idea i will surely give it a thought. thanks again Tony s for writing. i hv started my making my elder one little independant but sometimes i feel isn' t it too early i mean he still is a baby..but well..i will hv to balance out responsibility and love in both the kids now.. Tony s replied. Hey mbm,
Congrats on your second baby ! i went thru the exact feelings that u have mentioned. the gap betn my kids is 1 yr 10 months. now they r 5 and 3 resp. except for the 1st year which is difficult becoz u will be breastfeeding the baby i have not faced any major difficulties. of course u need tons of energy to play with both tof them, adjust their mealtimes, naptimes and control tantrums, also look after yourself, your own backache, weakness etc. initially when u deliver it will be good if your mom or MIL is with u for the 1st 3 months, later u can always hire a babysitter or put the older one in playschool so that u get sometime with the baby alone. and remember the older one is also still a baby , but apart from tips like making him feel imp. and asking him to help change the baby' s diapers etc., he also needs the same love as u would give to the baby. be prepared for all sorts of things esp. from the 1st. 1 year is sure to fly off fast and u will have a great time with both the kids, but make them independent as much as possible. all the best.