Relationships  Discussion Forum

I've seen lots of posts here about problems with in-laws. Do any of the women here have issues with their own family?

I'm happily married, have a baby and live in the U.S. My parents had been here to help out, and one day my father talked to me about what he had apparently been thinking for a long time. He feels that my husband and I have become too materialisitic. I guess he's right to an extent. But he is kind of done with parental responsibilities, while we are just getting started. As part of the deal, we have to think about making and saving money! But what really crushed me was that he called us a cheap family, alleged that whenever we went out, we chose times and circumstances so that we wouldn't have to spend any money on my parents (restaurants, attractions, and so on). That is not true. He hardly remembered anything nice that I've recently done for him, and remembered only negative things. He can't seem to stand either my husband or me, but he now talks to us normally, as if there were nothing on his mind.

I wish in a way that it was my in-laws had done this, then I could have just remained aloof with them. Because it's my father, and because I can't bear to cause any pain to my mother, I have to talk to him every week and it's really depressing. It is devastating to find that someone who you think will love you no matter what, doesn't like the kind of person you are at all.

Worst of all, I can't share this with my dear husband, with whom I share everything else. I have no secrets from him.

Just writing this to try to get a little load off my mind. Saheli replied. Hi,

Don't worry. Things will turn out good for you.

I think, your father misses you a lot. Thats why he is just trying to tell you tings, but that just doesn't come out of his mouth as he meant.

Have you seen mother-in-laws trying to get hold of their son? This is only beacuse they just can't digest the idea that their son is fully devoted to one lady other than herself(mother). You have been a lovely daughter of your father for years and now you are in a parent role, so you act as a matured woman. Your father sees that as you not caring for them. In fact, you have not only them to take care of, you have your own little family to take care of.

Try to make him feel a little more close to you by small things that you can do ..like taking them somewhere..buying them something.. Like that.

Good Luck.