I am in this strange & weired situation, I don't know how to discribe it...I am 30 yr old female & married settled abroad.my mom passed away last year due to illness.my father is 60 yrs old & lives in india alone.I have one brother who totally ignored my father, (completely ignored, not even phone calls),basicaly they don't get along with each others characters.my father doesn't have any close relatives who can look after him(he has , but every one is behind his money).I tried to talk this issue with my brother, but he dosn't look like take any interest.honestly speaking my father is arogant & rough by talking. but his heart is good.& he is a honest person.well no matter how he is ,still he is my father. now, my problem is nobody is their to look after him.I gave him option of sponcering his green card, but he doesn't want to come, he tells he doesn't want to depend on anyone & he doesn't want to stay with anyone & abroad life may be boring for him.last time when I called him, he was not feeling well.he was laying on bed for 4 days & nobody was their to look after him.now he thought about the situation, he is considering 2nd marriage, ( he wants to marry a widow or unmarried above 45 )& i am have understood that, he is not marring for any physical satisfaction, but for his old age support.& he has also told me that, he will drop this idea, if i don't agree & women will be selected by my concent.but i am in big delema, it's hard for me to digest my father getting married in his old age & imagine some other women in my mom's place.my hubby giving him option to stay in some good elderly home care & stay 2-3 months in my home in a year. I feel very embarresed & humiliated .I think about the comments by my husbands family & in society if he gets married in this age .can anyone please guide me what I can do about this situation?.
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I am in this strange & weired situation, I don't know how to discribe it...I am 30 yr old female & married settled abroad.my mom passed away last year due to illness.my father is 60 yrs old & lives in india alone.I have one brother who totally ignored my father, (completely ignored, not even phone calls),basicaly they don't get along with each others characters.my father doesn't have any close relatives who can look after him(he has , but every one is behind his money).I tried to talk this issue with my brother, but he dosn't look like take any interest.honestly speaking my father is arogant & rough by talking. but his heart is good.& he is a honest person.well no matter how he is ,still he is my father. now, my problem is nobody is their to look after him.I gave him option of sponcering his green card, but he doesn't want to come, he tells he doesn't want to depend on anyone & he doesn't want to stay with anyone & abroad life may be boring for him.last time when I called him, he was not feeling well.he was laying on bed for 4 days & nobody was their to look after him.now he thought about the situation, he is considering 2nd marriage, ( he wants to marry a widow or unmarried above 45 )& i am have understood that, he is not marring for any physical satisfaction, but for his old age support.& he has also told me that, he will drop this idea, if i don't agree & women will be selected by my concent.but i am in big delema, it's hard for me to digest my father getting married in his old age & imagine some other women in my mom's place.my hubby giving him option to stay in some good elderly home care & stay 2-3 months in my home in a year. I feel very embarresed & humiliated .I think about the comments by my husbands family & in society if he gets married in this age .can anyone please guide me what I can do about this situation?.
married woman replied. I agree with Anika,
I know it will hard for you to see your father with someone other than your Mom, but, try to look at it as companionship for your lonely father.
take care,
Married woman
anika replied. Dear anu,
I think times have changed. And so should our mentality. There is nothing wrong in getting 2nd married at age 60. I cannot imagine living a life without someone to share it . No one to talk to, share a meal or go see a movie or even hold hands. Romance and companionship does not just belong to the young. People talk and let them talk. U need to see what works for your father. Offer him the option of staying in a home.
Support him in what ever decision he takes. He is not trying to replace your mother....just wants someone to share his day and not be lonely.
I wish you guys all the best whatever you guys decide.
2003-10-23
#1
Name: married woman Subject: I agree
I agree with Anika,
I know it will hard for you to see your father with someone other than your Mom, but, try to look at it as companionship for your lonely father.
take care,
Married woman
2003-10-22
#2
Name: anika Subject: good luck
Dear anu,
I think times have changed. And so should our mentality. There is nothing wrong in getting 2nd married at age 60. I cannot imagine living a life without someone to share it . No one to talk to, share a meal or go see a movie or even hold hands. Romance and companionship does not just belong to the young. People talk and let them talk. U need to see what works for your father. Offer him the option of staying in a home.
Support him in what ever decision he takes. He is not trying to replace your mother....just wants someone to share his day and not be lonely.
I wish you guys all the best whatever you guys decide.
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& Answers to Topic : 2nd marriage.
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