Planning a Baby  Discussion Forum

hey guys, im just sending this msg to share wot im feeling bcoz u guys know all that ive been thru. yest i had great tension with my inlaws. its just that i didnt want them to share the news with anyone till i permitted...till i got comfortable. ive heard a lot of unkind remarks after my first m/c. so i just couldnt let it go. and it seems they were just not able to understand that. so i completely lost all control over myself and called them up and yelled at my mother in law. bcoz she was saying that she finds keeping this thing secret for long a stupid thing to do. i said ya..surely u will find it stupid bcoz u can never understand the pain of losing a baby as u have never been thru that pain!! i was literally shivering with anger and i could feel palpitations in my abdomen and sweat dripping from my armpits...it was so intense. have u guys ever hated anyone like that?
in the morning my brother called and said hypertension causes m/c. so i must keep my cool wotever happens and my dad also called up and told me not to hurt my MIL boz shez the only one now who can be by my side when i deliver. ya i know all that. thats y i waited for 4 hours before venting out my feelings..but when i couldnt sleep till 2 in the morning, i had to call her...i just had to... after yelling at her, i did calm down. it felt good to say that..considering that ive been listening all my life. she just asked hubby to calm me down for the sake of the babies.
i dont know how the babies are doing since then. i feel worried, like always..its like happiness just doesnt suit me...
thanks for listening, guys!
love and prayers,
pari.


hopingfortejas replied. Pari,

this inlaw stuff is not a big deal when compared to the happiness u r getting, plz dont let this allow to become sad ..

u know, even my MIL has told most of her relatives much earlier ..when i had not wanted the info to go around .... but i try not to get frustrated with it ..

dont think abt something bad happening, think abt it this way ....whatever these relatives say/do, in the end i am sure ur MIL also wants to have these grandchildren ..so when you tell them ..they would pray for the wellbeing of your babies and the more the prayer ..the better it is for you and your angels :) ....

take care ... your baies are doing fine ...

-P Rupa replied. Hope u r doing well.

Pari, pls dnt mind me saying this but i feel wht u did was not rite....whtever elders do its not intentional....and moreover shes too excited abt having her grandchildren maybe thts y she said she cant keep it a secret anymore.

You should calm down too and make her understand ina calm manner...even if they dont understand u hve to realise tht with u reacting the way u did...it will only affect and harm ur little angels inside you.

so pls dear..dnt worry too much and dnt get so tensed and angry this way.

regards

rups S M replied. I totally agree with Kshama ,u know I understand your problem with ur MIL 100%.

But you have to remember and be really patient for your babies.No nothing will happen to any of you,but let yourself know that people are always bound to be like that,you were pprobably shaking with anger b'coz it is an outburst probably which you have suppressed and after years of suppression it comes out like a storm.

Its like a dam,the more you suppress it the more intensity with which it comes out.So be calm ,whatever issues you have talk it out with ur in-law after you give birth to your sweeties.

Now learn to just let go,listen to some soothing music,go baby shopping dear.Chart out what all you may need ,just trying to give suggestions to put your mind into something else.

Forget about ur MIL's existence for sometime,she is a person who has lost her battle b'coz now she does not have anything to pin on you,more so she is afraid that ur hubby is going to be more attentive towards you.

Cherish your moments ,believe me every moment counts spend it on yourself and your family.

All the best dear.Just let Go hon.You are gonna be just fine. kshama replied. Hi Pari,

My sincere advice to u is please do not get tensed on anything for anything. U sld always try to control u'rself and not to get tensed.
If u'r MIL did not liten to u, then just say go to hell in u'r mind and calm down. If she is going to she is going to say.
But why the hell on this Earth U would consider something might happen to u.
Be very optimistic, nothing is going to happen. U sld be enjoying u'r pregnancy now, instead of thinking all this and arguing on something else.

Other thing is happiness is not going to come to us, we sld try to get happiness. U really have got the biggest happiness in world of carrying twins. Just think of people who have had so many failed IUI's and IVF's longing to just conceive once and waiting to see two positive lines. GOD has given u everything now, but u sld learn to keep it to u.

i know what u r feeling now. It is justified. But u sld be happy and be optimistic. And have complete 100% faith in GOD that he is not going to do anything bad to anybody.

I hope u r calm now and be happy, enjoy the GOD's gift. What more happiness do u think is on this world.

luv
kshama