Relationships  Discussion Forum

hi,

well i have problem which is disturbing me a lot.i have a very cunning and mean SIL.i dont knwo from day 1 of my marriage she always had some problem with me.she is married and comes sometimes to our house,but whenever she comes she spoils my mood so much that i feel sick of her sometimes.

my in-laws are nice and caring. My MIL is nice to me(touchwood) d even i respect and like her,but the problem is that she loves my SIL very much.its ok mother love their daughter but she thinks that her daughter is alwyas right.

i mean i shall tell or some small things.like if my MIL buys something for me,jewelery,clothes,footwears or anything she will buy the same for her daughter.i dont mind if she buys anything for her daughter what irritates me is she gets the same for her daughter too.if she buys something only for my SIL then she dosent get same for me, but if she buys something for me...she likes to get the same thing for her daughter.i dont like to have similar things.i dont like comparisons too.my problem might seem small to u all but day by day lots of things r happening like that so im getting irritated.

whenever my MIL appreciates anything about me my SIL says i need to improve more.whatever i wear my SIL asks my MIL where i get it from. sometimes even my MIL feels absurd on her behavior but dosent say anything to her.i mean i just hate when my SIL compares herself with me.she will never appreaciate what i do,but always feel jealous if someone loves me ur appreaciate me.i never critisize her on face,but i get hurt by all this actions.im not an outsider..im very much a part of the family.what i dislike is that my MIL dosent understand her daughter jealousy nature.she is so dumb in this matter.my MIL likes me because i respect her and dont ill treat her.she has even appreciated me in front of my hubby sometimes when im not around.my husband told that.but she does things for me because i do reciprocate..but i have seen my SIL sometimes talking badly to my MIL,or misbehaving..but then also my MIL dosent say anything.if i do the same as her daughter does then my hubby will blast me left and right.

i know\" BLOOD IS THICKER THAN LOVE\" .my MIL loves me only because i listen to her and do what she says.but what scares me tht my SIL will poison her brains..because i dont know for what reasons she hates me.hubby dosent understand the evil behavior of his SIL.

Right now there are small issues related to jealous,but i cant take this anymore.im also human.i also need warmth and affection when im doing my best to mix in family.My SIL is alwyas weirdly behaving with me.im tired of her.sometimes i feel like fighting with my hubby on this topic.how much can i keep quite and bear.im very stressed.please tell me what to do Chameli replied. Hey gg,

It' s high time u learned to ignore.U r married and u want to mix up in the family.If u really want to mix up then u should know to adjust ur SIL too.Because in case u give back to ur SIL for what she does thats the end of relationship with ur MIL.


And about buying things,think this way, If your mother buys something to you she ' s going to buy for u only.Similarly her mother buys for her alone.I don' t see any wrong in it.

I was in ur state and now i have given up the idea of mixing with the family.My SIL is very much like urs.Yet to be married.I did put up with her for a good while.I stopped reacting to whatever she said.she wud keep commenting abt my dress,my hair almost everything.During initial months of my marriage i felt terrible.it was painful.Only then i realized she' s doing all these just because she is jealous on me.That means when i am around she doesn' t feel good about herself thats y she wants me to feel hurt.She poisoned my FIL & MIL too.

See it like this, When u have just won a race,the person who has lost won' t be kind to you.See her as a loser and take pity on her.I did the same with my SIL now she has shut her mouth.Still she speaks ill of me in my absence but when i am around she has learned to shut up.

Also i did one more thing with my SIL.I told my hubby that whenever his sister speaks something stupid like that he should tell her not to say so.I said Otherwise i will give back in my own way which won' t be sweet.He didn' t want his sister getting back from me.So he warned her not to speak like that.But she made so much fuss telling that my hubby listens to me and is ignoring parents and sister.For saying him so she got nicely from him.