Relationships  Discussion Forum

Hi Ladies,
Most of the women when they post their problems , I notice people give them advice to talk their husband on proble.What I noticed most of the time it will worsen the situation.The best way worked for me is be like a wall and need to act skillfully to handle situation.
talking will make more worst. Ritika replied. I agree Aarthi and Rami that a lot of times an abusive husband or in-law will not take well if a wife answers back.

However a woman - specially if economically independent - should feel strong enough to defend herself or at the very least talk to her husband about issues which she feels strongly about.

She should not start a fight - but when her husband demands absolute subjugation from her, she should at least stand up for herself. Being forced to be a door mat is not going to be good for her emotional well being, believe me. The bitterness will slowly creep in and make her miserable.

If a woman feels bitterly about some injustice, I do sincerely think that she can find some way to tell her husband how she feels.

After all, communication is the key to a successful marriage.

It is ofcourse up to her (knowing her husband), to find the right occasion to mention her thing.

For example, if a husband demands that a wife not speak to her parents or have any contact with them, she can wait for the moment when he has just finished having a long chat with his parents, to mention that just as he wants to talk to his parents, she would also like to talk to her parents.

Yes, there are some die hard control freaks of husbands who will not take that nicely - but if a husband is half way decent, he is bound to see some light in that argument.

Lot of times, people don' t tend to see the obvious until they are put in the other person' s shoes.

On this board, there are so many messages where it appears that the wife has to blindly obey whatever her husband or in laws decide. She has no voice in her own marriage.

It is so sad and unfortunate that so many good and wonderful women are not even allowed the dignity of having a mind or thought process of their own.

I am so glad that this message board exists where we can at least vent our feelings. It is the equivalent of chicken soup for the soul..:) Rami replied. I agreed...expressing the problem in a few words cant make anyone to understant what is the exact situation they are going through. Taking suggestions from others and act according to that wont work always. As you said...need to act skillfully to handle the situation. Suggestions should be applied properly according to the situation. Suggestions may help to bring down mental depression and make them feel that there are many people to support them and going through the same kind of problem.