Relationships  Discussion Forum

Hey arti looks like we r sailing in the same boat.

I have no kids.My ILs don' t want me to have one for financial reasons.Now they are taking 25 of my hubbys salary.They don' t want cutdown in that money.Ur MIL is better.My MIL is a Doc & she gave certain tablets in my early married months tellling to get pregnant soon.I innocently took them all to end up in a very bad state.After all once they suspected i was pregnant( 6 days or so delay) and they asked me to visit my parents.They told my parents not to send car and they said they will send me in their car.At the last moment they asked me to take an auto.I resisted so much telling i can take a bus.But they insisted in an auto.In half way i had bad stomach pain.I asked the autowala to stop & called my father from my mobile and asked him to come and pick me up.But alas when i reached my home i got my periods.Even after a doctor confirmed that i had troubles because of the medicine my inlaws gave me,my hubby refuses to believe that.My Sil yet to be married(elder than me but) keeps telling i am barren when no one is around.When she says this it will be too harsh.

And for vacations we shud go almost every month.My parents are living in the same city as my inlaws but i will be allowed one day if we are going there and so.My husband wont come.Sometimes he will come to drop or pick up.Never he ' ll stay.

Once i saw my SIL asking my hubby to stay late that night.I didnt' really understand.But i pretended to go to bed and found her creeping to him and speaking on and on till morning 3.Next day i had to visit my parents(for half a day) and my hubby literally refused to let me go.Such a mud head, to listen to a stupid Good for nothing sister and abuse his wife.

I am going to meet them soon.I really feel terrible.He just announced that we r going to native and i asked him how long am i supposed to spend at my parents' .He is telling y r u thinking abt it now itself as if u have nothing else to think.We are going for a celebratio there this time and my SIL will be terribly insulting in front of every relative.Am very much worried.I have never seen such a girl who has so much venom in tongue.How do i tackle her... Ritika replied. You need to resolve things with your husband as well as yr SIL.

Next time your husband talks bad to you, why dont you tell him that unless he improves his language, you are going to ignore him?

When he insults you e.g. \" y r u thinking abt it now itself as if u have nothing else to think.\" do you take it lying down? Dont you ask him why shouldnt YOU think of visiting your parents? Is HE not thinking of visiting HIS family? Is that all HE can think of?

Besides why do you have to ask his permission to visit your own parents? Is he your boss or what?

Just tell him that you are planning to go for so many days and will be back on so and so day.

And when you are talking to him, keep calm...dont get mad or emotional (like crying etc). Just be firm of voice and state your point. If he keeps insulting you, tell him that you dont have to listen to his abuse and WALK OUT of the room. Go for a walk outside to calm yourself.

As for your SIL, you need to give it to her as well.

People who dish out venom dont like it when the tables are turned.

Next time she says that you are barren, tell her that don' t say such things as tomorrow she can be the one has these problems. Also, she' s the daughter of a doctor. She should have the brains to know that it can be her brother also that has infertility problems.

And about insulting in front of relatives...believe me - if your SIL is like that, everybody in her extended family would be aware of her trait...she is only giving an example of her mean behavior. All the relatives would be knowing by now who is the bad one.

When she is pointing a finger at you, she is actually pointing 4 fingers at herself.

take care...

Aarthi replied. Hi there,
I have been in this situation so long, i have thought about the situation than came to conclusion.If husbands family is like that, we can' t do anything about it,just accept as they are live with it.Atleast we are not living with them, so feel glad.
By thinking over and over again about them is going to spoil peace of mind of ours so when thoughts comes to you about them just be like a wall.
Love your husband dearly from heart, he will realise it sooner or later.if there is a choice for you to get separate from this relation simply because of them,it is not really worth it.make him yours & you need little skill to manage the relation with your hubby.And avoid eating anything your mil or sil gives.go to good GYN and see root cause and get treatment.