Relationships  Discussion Forum

Hi friends,

I too have faced prblems in marriage
and ignored all my hubby' s family and leading life.my mil along with 3 daughters tried her best to break my marriage as my hbby listens to them and very fond of them.it failed and we r living together fine after that since 5yrs but i have no trust or love for them.I dont think i atleast can say i love my hubby confidently if not trust,somehow unfortunately not much attached feelings left for any.but he cares m only child and me good.now he is asking for nd child and though i am fond of kids-not really ready even though i am 32.feel insecured as i am not financially indipendent and he being only son and his family so possessive of him,and even he would surely turn back once all go unity and insist him to stay for them.and i cant imagine myself living with them after my husband himself wrote a letter to his family finding too many reasons to divorce me and now he knows his fault and lives normal-but i cant come out of it.deeply hurt as they all married me with lot of interst and hurt me.now is it good decsion to go for 2nd child?one more thing in my first preg-i did myself and they gave me mentl tension no birth in july.even now he says no for july.

please do send ur opinions -can go for 2nd or not?my senses say-only if i have a job.

thanks,
renuka



renuka replied.
Hi friends,

Thanks for ur feedback.I feel i should not go for 2nd child though he is forcing me now becuse even 9months back i came across sample divorce papers filled-a couple of copies in his file and in his computer.i came across when we were back from canada trip.when i confronted him, he sid he felt so and this happened after his trip from india.I STRONGLY FEEL ALL FOUR WOMEN R FILLING HIS EARS,BUT I DONT BLAME THEM WHEN HE IS SUCH.and he enjoys sex with mehe does even oral and asks for ,but never i did as i am not comfort.I JUST CANT GET THIS PERSON.July is not good for their family itseems -it is pressure from ills.whatever i strongl decided never i will compromise to stay with their famly that too with this kind of
people.

thanks,
renuka Ritika replied. Sorry Renuka, your mail is not very clear to me.

Does your husband love and support you now? If yes, how long has he been nice to you?

Is he planning to go back to his parents place and live with them?

Did he write the divorce letter or did his family write that?? Did he apologize after that? Give you an explanation?

Why do you think a job will make a 2nd child easier?

Could you clarify...so that I can give my inputs..thx. mini replied. renuka....i can understand what all u might have undergone during ur last preg...with me too...during and just after my delivery my IL' s tortured me so much mentally that i decided never to have a second issue..my husband too supported them fully and i was left all alone at that crucial time of my life..people say it is the rebirth of a lady after her delivery and she has to be taken full care off and can u believe my MIL kept my husb away frm me just with an insecurity that if he woud feel my pain he will give me more importance forever ....hah sad..and she has been successful in her missions till now we have not been able to come out of that though she is not staying with us. Il' s and my husb dint even know what care was to be taken care of me after my deliv as they never ever asked the doctor about that..this all HURTS...I ve totally gone down in my health..i was not massaged when i needed the massage..i dint take calcium and iron though i was anaemic (hb 8) after my kid' s birth..i was not given any medicine or proper food after my delivery...and these people call themselves educated....
since them i have strictly told my husb that i would not go for the second issue..though i and my husb had a strong desire for baby girl but im blessed with boy..i still cant imagine of going thru everything again..even i do not work and my mil SO PROUDLY TELLS my parents on phone that her son earns so much....i have never told her that even i have the capability and have earned even more than her son when i was pregnant....i never did that as i m not \" ghamandi\" like them..
Its all ur decision....for the second issue..
Try not to invlolve ur inlaws but u can call only ur parents..but talk to ur husb first abt this clearly reminding him all previous heart aches u have undergone....
otherwise i feel...family is complete with one child..
i haev shared my experiences and my own decision of life to you..about urself u have to take the firm decision urself.

i dint understand...Y not JULY??
take care