Relationships  Discussion Forum

Hi,

I live in US , happily married and i have a 8 months old son.

My problem is i have a Driving License but i am afraid to drive and it is really holding back all my activities .

For everything i depend on my Husband , he has really hectic job and because i don' t drive he does everything like taking my son for his Doctor visits , Groceries etc i know that i am not helping him but i don' t how can i come out from this fear.

i also tried taking driving classes even i have license but some how i am not able to..but my husband says that i am a good driver and also safe driver......

pls help me to get rid of my fear.

thanks in advance,
driving fear. sandya replied. alright, everyone out in this thread seems to be sharing a fear of driving. so, here' s something to think about. This is what my husband told me when i was frightened of driving on the roads here....he said...look, i' am not a millionaire that could afford a chaffeur for you to go around the city. So, if you don' t want to learn driving then you' d be stuck at home by yourself. Think about it. So, ladies weigh your options as to what is it that you want. All of you fears are well founded, getting tickets..making mistakes on the road...but unless you make them, you' ll never learn. Remind yourself that without falling down, you never learnt how to walk...without learning how to fall down safely from your bike, you never could learn that bike. If you don' t try, then what are you going to teach your kids. So, c' mon..cheer up and stop feeling embarrassed about making mistakes. Go out there where the sun is shining and there' s beautiful weather and right now, you could be enjoying all of this, but for your fears. Conquer them, you know you can do better.Enjoy, learn and be happy. adi replied. You are not alone! Count me in too. Crazy thoughts come in my mind as soon as the car hit the highway, forget me even when my hubby drives, my heart start pumping super fast like an express train. Subconsciously my mind start picturing crashes and brutal accidents. I don’t know how to overcome such thoughts. I keep praying as long as I am on road. I am similar case as you. I have driving license.

I personally feel that this fear is more or less the cause
of changed environment. I personally was very independent – used to even
drive two wheelers in india but out here I just lack that confidence. Not
that I don’t know driving, but here- I feel the lack of confidence. I have
the licsense since past 13 months but I don’t gather much courage to
drive comfortably all by myself. Come to think of the reason- I feel the
confidence gets pricked- when someone here honks on you, coz of pressure of
too many rules and regulations and a cop may caught you red handed incase
you do a minor fault, fast lanes, right hand drive, right lane popping in
and closing at any point. There might be more I am sure but the pondering
thought is the constant pressure and lack of confidence we get with our
experience.

Most of us are married here and we have learnt or observed how our husbands
drive. I am sure, many of us will agree- they are not patient tutors. And
that one other factor which breaks our motivation at the base level rather
than starting on the road confidently. Who doesn’t want to feel
independent? But the fear of unknown is something which cannot be
controlled. The above listed factors all combine together n put us in the
domain of fear of unknown without even we getting to know about it.

I am myself struggling everyday with my inner self and gathering courage to
overcome this weakness and gain confidence in hope someday I would achieve
success! Thankfully, I did have the courage to explore the area on my own. I
was new here- and I started to explore the possibility of public commuting
on my own. Florida doesn’t have much bus services, but whatever I knew off,
I went out and started to plan my own trips.

After listening to ure story, I don’t feel that I am the only person who is
in the same boat. Thought of sharing my side and probably would give some of
u an insight of the things which can still make us feel independent.
Reader replied. Hi Priya,

For your phobia, the solution is to take a 24 houre helpline service. It costs around INR 365 a year. It promises to help you in half an hour incase your car breaks down. Reader replied. Hi there,

Well just try one thing, take the car once with ur hubby and drive a round near a park.
After that round let ur hubby go back home and u drive all alone for 1-2 km or may be less.

This may help you get some confidence. samy replied. The very fact that you have a driving license proves that you have the confidence to take the bold step of driving.
So one hurdle has been taken care of.
I am just like you but towards another extreme,because of my fear of roads and driving at high speeds on highways i kept postponing the step to learning driving for 3 yrs,and now I am kicking myself after landing in one of the harshest states in U.S for obtaining driver' s license,all this because of my fear of driving.
Try driving with your hubby during weekends at least on local roads so that you get confident about the roads.Take it one step at a time.
The very fact that ur hubby is supportive of your driving abilities is another hurdle crossed.
Don' t worry everyone is scared of driving at some point or the other but once you take it in your stride and throw yourself at it you will be fine.
All the best.Just take baby steps.