Relationships  Discussion Forum

Hi Dia & Friend,

Thanks for the suggestion but well everyone knows that my hubby is not very close to his parents...in fact he has come closer to them afetr our marriage & papa mumma keep sayng this to everyone including my mom...so she' ll know this is not true. Also, I have tried talking to her very frankly that she' ll have to realize that they are a young couple & they need their space. Also that bhabhi will need more support from bro coz she is new to the family...but the problem is she doesn' t realize that she is being unreasonable:(. She feels that she is giving them sufficient space but unfortunately its not true. Adi replied. Ure bhabhi is lucky that she has got a SIL like you. Really! Coming to the issue, if talking to her doesn’t work, you can try the following things-

• Talk to your brother and he can further talk to your mom. I am sure he might be realizing the issue too and may be his talks might effect more. Treat her like you are talking to a child who is stubborn and you have to convince her. She might listen to her son and remember that in the conversation, you might have to be diplomatic and use polite words like, we are not going anywhere. You too started your family and required time, I was with you for so long and the new lady in the house needs to accepted, made comfortable only when I give him time.
• Make her occupy. Your mom is currently in the situation, where she is getting possessive and that’s all how the mind is working currently. To deviate her mind, you might have to make her push into activities which keeps her busy. Try involving her in some yoga, Art of living, Walks, things that interest her and make her busy so that she has less time to think about her son and keep her away from the thoughts of her losing her son.
• If nothing works, then take her to counselor where she can talk about her fears and how to over come them
• At the same time, try and talk to your SIL time n again and try to make her your friend so that she can trust you and try and tell whatever things she is feeling bad and uncomfortable about.

Also- if you are so concerned, try asking your brother to take breaks and take her bride to new places. I understand this cannot happen that often but atleast the new being in the family will feel comfortable once in a while.

Your efforts would be required a lot in this, and try to take easy on yourself too.

I hope the pointers help you a bit.

Ciao and keep us posted!
KLM replied. May be you can cook up the stories about your friends that they are going thru MIL problem etc.
Or
show some movies about Mother' s possessiveness towards son
or
mention about this website, she will find many IL' s problems

But everything in a positive way, she might take it very sensitively.

Good luck.