Planning a Baby  Discussion Forum

hi, i feel im really going crazy. had been holding myself so well all these months. im this close to having a nervous breakdown. ive become so weak after losing my mom. y do all bad things happen to me? just got a call from one of my friends. she has a 1 year old. just now i realized that i have passed the stage when all my friends appeared to be preg. now im in the stage where all my friends have kids...not babies, kids!!
and all of them got preg after i had my miscarriage. i have completed more than 2 yrs since then...still no baby...
this feeling is horrible. i feel so lonely. to top it all this feeling haunts me all the time that my bachelor brother in law will have a baby before i do. and with me all that i ever feared most, always came true!! so its like i have already accepted it as the inevitable...still it hurts so bad...can anyone tell me why?
i want to go to my mom now...im really really tired...
pari. padma replied. Hi Pari,

I've just come to this board a couple of weeks back and generally keep mum, not knowing what to say..

You mom is in God's home now.. What would she be telling God now? She's your angel in heaven, having direct access to HIM/HER. Talk to her and share your feelings (now, you can say anything to her -what you'd have not when she was here) and ask her for guidance..

meanwhile visit 2 Inf specialists, take both opinions...

Connect with your Mom from here itself. Make your special talking-corner, decorate it and just sit and talk with her.. She'll show you what to do and how to cope.

Hugs to you.
Padma Leo replied. Dear Pari,

I know u have been thru a lot. But just hang in there that is all i cud say. Faith, Hope and patience and the only things to ride on. Recently one of my friend had mailed me, she said she conceived within 1 month of trying but for me it is 8 months now, i was dejected but realized that God has a plan for everybody.

One thing we all human beings do is we tend to compare which is wrong. As kids we hated when our parents compared us with children who got better marks than us, now as adults we compare our lives with many others and feel that they have got all the best things and why not we!!!!!!! inspite of being good and not harming others.

On pondering I realized that God treats each one as a \";special child\"; and he will do the best for us, it is only that we need to wait. I know u have gone thru a lot, but try this small thing: surrender urself to God and try being happy. It will all be difficult at first but slowly u will start believing that good things \";can\"; happen to u and ultimately good things \";will\"; happen to u.

Ur checkup also is nearing so u need to be happy abt it and conquer ur husband with ur love.....it may take time but he will be totally urs in a matter of time.

Love,
Leo Simba replied. Pari,
Please please have faith. Faith and hope are the only things we women can hold on to. So you have not yet gone to a doctor to get a complete fertility check up done. Sometimes it could be really something minor that is amiss and the doctor will be able to fix it easily.
For example I had 2 miscarriages in the last 8 months.
After the 2nd one my gynaec refered me to miscarriage specialist. Apparently I have a bloot clotting condition that is easily fixable by taking extra vitamins and folic acid. The specialist was sooo sweet and put soo many of my fears at rest.
So now I am on that treatment and have hope that this year will be successfull.
I am so glad that my gynaec did tell me to wait a year before refering me to a specialist.

So when you visit your doctor for a complete workup, feel free to ask her everything that's on your mind. Tell her all your history and fears.
Also if you check out fine and there are no problems with you hopefully, have your husband checked too. You know that it takes 2 to make a baby.

Anyway we are all here for you. Please try not think negatively and keep your hopes intact.
Let us know how your doctor's visit goes.

Simba
pari replied. oh hemangi!! if u have been reading my msgs, u already know he wont do anything like that...im all alone in this...im alone in everything that happens between me and my inlaws...he will never support me like ur hubby supported u...im very very lonely...wenever i needed him he has been there but only till the time his parents didnt get involved...he will never do any such thing that hurts them...it doesnt matter what happens to me.... Hemangi replied. Hi Pari, I have been reading your posts since one year or so. I have been in the same situation that you are in right now. Pls pls do not lose hope, I know you have heard this many times. But somebody up there will surely listen to you. In my case too my BIL's wife became preg before I conceived but you know what nobody lifted their finger at me because my husband had a talk with my inlaws when my SIL became preg and told them not to make a big deal about it and he said \";Absolutely no comparisons\"; with my wife, if anybody ever dares to hurt her I will sever all my ties with you. Because of his support I pulled through and after 1 yr I also conceived. Now I have a daughter who is 15 months old. Pls, talk to your husband and make sure he stands by you no matter what. kshama2 replied. Hi Pari,

Really feel sorry for what we are all facing. Have faith in GOD beleive him, though always very diffiuclt to eep our hopes lighted alll the time.

This one for u
\"; grant us SERENITY to accept the things we cannot change.
COURAGE to change the things we can and
WISDOM to know the difference\";

kshama