Relationships  Discussion Forum

Hi,
I lost my wife 2 months back in an accecident.She had left my daughter with me. Now my kid is 5 months old. My mother is taking care of her but my mother is getting older.
Now the child started recognising people. My parants are advising me for second marriage as soon as possible. Becoz the baby get adjusted to its new mother soon.
I have a dilmna in my mind.

1) In all stories,cinema and all we see cruel step mothers. Is it true in real life??

2) How much time a baby takes to adjust to new mother if I get realy good second wife.

3) whther second marriage realy helps??

I am in a dilemna what to do.
plese advice.

Thanks Mel replied. I' m really sorry for your loss.

I' m not a big advocate of the concept of arranged marriages. And I don' t know what kind of a wife you will get since you already have a child. I don' t mean to say that you are in a bad position, but you know how things are in this country. When it comes to arranged marriages, most people would look for single partners. If someone is willing to give their daughter to you, it could be that there may be some problems or issues due to which they are doing this.

If you were in love with a woman and she truly loved you, and then you got married, then the possibility of her being a loving caring mother would be higher.

It is also possible that you will find a partner who will care for your baby girl, but what happens when she has a child of her own ? And what about you ? Are you marrying only to get a replacement mom ? Cos, if you are and your second wife figures it out, she may not want to care for your child.

I don' t know what is the right advice. Just remember one thing. That little child is YOUR RESPONSIBILITY. Her care, growth, development and her entire life are in your hands. You and only YOU can make the right decision for her. If you find someone who is LIKELY to be a good mother, then go ahead, but if you are getting married, because your mother thinks she is too old to care for the grand daughter, then put her in daycare, or employ a maid. The maid can take the load off your mother, and since your mother will be around, she will take care of the child well.

My mother would take care of my son in a hearbeat. She wouldn' t tell me that she' s old... or anything else. She would care for him... and she would think of ways of ensuring his continued care in the event that she is not around anymore. That' s what grandparents do !