Relationships  Discussion Forum

I have a question about in-laws. My in-laws won' t tell me anything about family matters. They r financially dependent on us. We won' t live with them. we live in UK.

1.They won' t tell me like if they do some rituals to my sis-in-law' s. They will just notify my husband. We r from AP. Recently my sis-in-law had some ritual,which we perform for each 5 years.My in-law' s told that to my hubby and he sent money for that. But they never ever told me about that. But they didn' t said about ritual they are doing for their daughter ( like on sucha date we r doing this)

2.One of my sis-law build a new home (she lives in UK )and they asked myhubby for money as gift to them. At that time my in-laws came to uk and they aksed my husband when I was not around. I would be happier if my MIL told that to me rather then I heard that from my husband.

This just freeks me out. I feel like they don' t consider me as a family member.

I have a 1 and half year daughter. They won' t tell us, like when we have to do her hair cutting ceremoney etc. byt my in-law' s talks about things they have to do to thier daughters and their children.

I just want them to tell me like when they r doing special things or rituals. For example, we r doing this fucntion to ur SIL on such date.

my in-laws won' t like my parents and most of the time me also.Eventhough I won' t argue with them. is all in-laws are like htis? is this normal behaviour of in-laws? just borhters me very much.If this is not normal how should I behave to change this? do I have to argue with them?
deepa_reddy replied. hi srida,

its very common among inlaws..they feel that they r sons parents and they have every right to her u and ur parents for small things.
since u dont stay with them there is actually absolutely no problem.
but still if u feel hurt..and losing peace bcoz of this issue...u can directly talk to ur SIL and MIL casually saying that ...so many rituals happen in our family and i dont even no..wait and let them answer u. If they say they tell there son so that hewould tell her...but tell that he forgets and u end up not knowing anything.
they want to hurt u some how thats why they dont about ur babys tonture ..etc.
they want to show that they dont care for u and ur baby..but will behave normally in front of ur husband.

dont complaint to ur husband..bcoz he will never agree with u...that his parents r trying to hurt .

dont care about the people who dont care about u or love u..
instead stay cool and be happy .life is too short to worry.
good luck


xxxx replied. Hey,

That behaviour is very common from in-laws.Many In-laws not like to tell or discuss things with you.Whatever they want ,they are getting through your husband.So it doesn' t matter wether they will tell you or not.
Thing only can solve by your husband.your husband should know how you feel and also his responsability to tell his parents know.Then they will definilty will tell you because if they don' t know they know your husband will know.But you talking to them directly won' t solve the problem.If your hsuaband is not interested for that ,then just forget about them .Main thing is ,are you happy with your hubby or not.Just neglect them.One more time that is very common In-Laws behaviour every where and don' t fight for that unnessarly if your husband is not with you.

take care riya replied. Hey lady i think you need to speak on this with your hubby when he is in a good mood dont fight for your rights ask for it from him and his family members tell your hubby that they should also consider me in they discussions and etc And also tell your hubby to save some for u and your daughter as his has her career too and mininmise his extra expenses

Explain him dont demand ask for it.
You also start communicating with ur MIL & SIL To be in picture.

All will be fine .