Relationships  Discussion Forum

Hi all,

Where to start with Just married completed 1 month it was a love marriage .I am his second wife He is divorced five years back he had a very bad past 1 only accepted him bcoz i madly loved him .My parents had opposition but they love me lot so they got convinced and we finally got married . My inlaws are good but Since we are married i have not gone to my honeymoon i had to clean all my house and throw all the old stuff such as greeting cards and cloths of his first wife trust me it was very had i still did it ,no one even thought how would i feel .But i patiently changed a dirty house into i clean one .
My hubby is not keeping well since a month trust me we both had intercourse only twice till now.
I always make an attempt but he doesnot show any response ,He was never like this before but i dont know why has he changed.

I spoke to him about it ,he said that its just becoz of health,But he never trys to understand my feeling event i need him physically My nights are sleepless i have lost all interest in living,But rest he takes good care of me I am treated i like a queen i donot have to cook or claen the house .

On the top i am also not very happy with my job need a change not getting a good job just frustrated of life

Can anyone help what should i do for my hubby and job. xxx replied. Hi,

Thanks for understanding.Here are few more things what i think are important.
I guess you shouldn’t expect from him love harmony atleast for a year or atleast he start understand your importance.I came from conservative family,so even I didn’t have anything like that in my intial days I was not worried much.So don’t worry about that.For a good family life there are so many thing important.Since he is disturbed it takes him a while to come out of that.
If your MIL can understand you,ask her not to talk much about there pasts and same thing with your hubby too.Never ,ever discuss about there pasts or not even mention to them even you get into some fight.
Second if your husband likes friends or going some places,just plan for that more frequently .That way they will enjoy there social life. I know its very hard on you but believe you will be lovely wife to them after a while.
Men typically like friends, if he has out going personality, plan for more social get together.
Coming to you, don’t worry about your love life. Just try to get the good job which you like and concentrate on that more and also enjoy what you were liking before marriage like enjoying with friends or going to some movies something like that and also never neglect your husband. He need your support and understanding. Long way to go but you will be happy after a while.

xxx replied. Hi,

I am also married to a divorce person. Believe me you will have complete different phase with divorce person. Its not like a crazy newly wed first year marriage life.
But I think it will be ok after a year or so. They need to go through lot of stuff and also they will have 100 worries from the first marriage. You need to overcome all the stuff. But at the same time I believe they also know importance of family.
Coming to family life,trust me they may not interested at all for first year until they get confident in you.Basicall they have worry about where you leave him again and things like that.So first they need to get confidence in the person and confidence in the family.Then they will do better. Just you need to be patient. Your life can’t be like other women who is newly married and going crazy. You will have study and better life compared to other women in the long run.
My first year of marriage, I was just doing house work and entertaining guests all the time.But its been 5 years, my husband believe in my lot and he has changed lot after we have kids.So kids also important for your family life.
Since you loved him and you got married to him.So you need to give him support and understanding .