Relationships  Discussion Forum

am a faliure....i m a real one.....i never got what i wanted in my life......my story is wierd can say.....
i wanted to become a doctor when i was in my teen....after compleing my 12th i tried but failed, though i got dentle but coud not get addmission, let me clear it that i belong to a conservative family (used to, before my marrige)of U.P....then i tried MBA entrance, and i got call letter from the best coll in UP...but my father never showed any enthu .....and finaly at the age of 21 n half i got married, after marrige i was not happy, as my husband wanted to marry some other gurl and he was also not happy with me....so again bad luck, no luck in career n love....then i started studying again, i didn some diploma course, but thats also of no use, as he got some assingment abroad and we went outside....so again hard luck of not working , again adle at home, dipressed , lonely......as i was always.....
after 3 n half years i returned back india...now am in india and planning of doing some serious course so that i can do some kinda job....but i dont have such enthu to do that....i m enthu less....how to motivate myself....
i have some regrets in my life...as my father never sent me out of home town and he sent my sister to study and to do job and my brother as well... my sister is working in south india...so far from home..but my father is so proud of her....but at my time he never thought me sending in U.P itself...i dont like my father...i donoo why he behaves with me like this...when i asked him why he didnt send me for studies...he said that tim ewas diff, BTW what does that mean?i really donno...when i arged with him...he said..tumhare mei bilul bhi dam nahi hai...your sister is smarter than you, you cant do anything in life...you are dumb....see how my father taked with me....i was soocked and was do do dipressed...since then i m just thinking and want to prove myself...but i dont have much enthu....my daughter is 2 year old whole day i have to take care of her.....so am not so enthuziastic...but trust me i want to do something in my life and prove my father wrong(as i used to be the smartest kid in the family, education wise, butu its y hard luck am doing nothing now and i dont have career)
how and from where to get motivated....and am realy really sad abt my father' s behavious...i dont want to talk to him....am all broken.....plss guide me :-( ruby replied. hi deepti i read your answer u r really a good guide and friend.your thoughts r very mature and wise i would love to be your friend if u wish i want to give u my id hope to see your reply bye nandini replied. Dear DEEPTI,
I had the same problem like NONEE but i never really tried to tell somebody..but today it felt like miracle...Her problem(same as i have) and Your unbeliveble answer..i mean i really dont have words to explain how happy n lucky i felt today..good work deepti..keep it up..u dont know today u changed my life..u too nanoo.
Thanks tonnn
NANDINI abc replied. I too think that your father must have had some limitations due to which he could not educate you. Also you must not have shown him a strong drive to study. Sometimes, children who are strong willed get their own ways.Your father must have called you names because you blamed him, he must have been frustrated. Try to understand him. Dont stop talking to him. This will disturb you more. Take care of your child first. You can get a job in software testing by doing some course, and the pay is also good. No job is bad, you only have to put your heart in it. Try getting a part time job, so that you can manage both home and career.It will also help to boost your self confidence. Good Luck and cheer up!! Yes you can do it!! Deepti replied. Hmmm.. So u r just depressed ' bout ur career and marriage.And the reason is ur father.
Any father would try to do the best for all his children and will not show partiality. He might have felt u r not dare enough to stay away and get along .But he might have failed to convey that. So got u married to a guy.Try thinking positive ' bout ur father, dear.

Also, dont feel urself \" can' t do anything\" !because still u have loong life to achive things. All u need to do is come out of depression and take care of baby.
Ur baby is little one and she needs to be cheerful always with her mom all the time, then only she can become smarter and sharper. So first ,for 2more years until she goes school,just teach her things with ur wisdom and use all ur intelligence as a good mother .
Dont think u r not worth doing anything.Put an ambition urself like moulding ur baby sharper and confident.Then nothing will bother u. When she go school, u can think of ur career.
Now u have many job oppurtunities with a degree even. If u have fluency u can go for HR ,call centers or if ur tone is commanding and sweet and if u r talkative u can go as RJ and can settle well in some career.
But first put all other thoughts aside and have a happy time with ur baby.

let me tell u my story...
When I was studying I too had lots of dreams on career because I was very studious .Then my parents got a good match and in mid of PG I got to stop my PG and followed my hubby to abroad.I was on dependent visa , so couldnt do any work...I too used to get depressed.But oneday when I was blaming my mom over phone just she told me to prove myself as good house wife and not blaming her for my marriage.Then I started!!
All the time worked on keeping home clean, learning good recipes, making my hubby to hook on to me. In married days I just had only goal to be a good house wife when I had no choice.
Ok, After delivery ,I got some work permit(before that I never known ' bout it as my hubby not interested me working) and worked in a career not exactly s/w (I was genious in programming but didnt get job in that, but didnt get depressed.).after I started earning and my savings reached to good amount(they doubled salary after 2 months for my dedication), he too liked me to continue work. So I used to put her day care and worked though initially I felt overburdened, but didnt want to leave a chance to prove myself. TO TELL U FACT I FELT LIKE ESCAPING THAT EXTRA BURDEN AND WANTED TO BE WITH MY BABY. While working I realised that I shdn' t have taken this job when baby is that young.

There were days my hubby made me feel guilty as a mother and wife when I achieved something in office.he is good and caring, still male ego made him to behave different when I got good name in ofc.

ok, when baby was about to be 2yrs, we came india, though everybody asked me to work ,I' m not working and want to spend with my baby. So now I' m confident and will work only after my baby goes to school. My present ambition is to prepare her for school. Just doing it. And now she is just 2.5yrs but can tell all the nursery rhymes, ABCs, 123s,....can tell stories out of imagination.I tell her ramayan, hanuman,srikrishna stories daily.So as a mother , now I' m satisfied myself and no thoughts of career.

SO dear, Pl divert ur thoughts and dont feel bad urself. it makes u loose intrest in ur life. NO hubby will be happier with a moody wife. So just be cheerful and feel ur baby only ur world and nothing else u have.

All the best!

So I feel this career thoughts r just making u depressed. Just be confident that u' ll be in good career once ur baby settles in school.

Sorry if I were wrong in estimating U anywhere. All I wish is a best life for u. Which is just in ur hands and mind. Hell Or Heaven r nowhere else. They r just hiding in our spirits and heart. If u choose ur life to be like heaven, u can lead it . Decide urself dear.

Hope u choose to be happy!