Planning a Baby  Discussion Forum

Hi friends,
Iam new here but i have been reading the posts for quite somedays back. I like to get some help from you friends.
Iam married from Aug 2006. After a months time we came abroad as my husband's job here. My mom and MIL stay in india. Now its almost 4 months we are living separately. The problem with us is we do not have proper sex, means we try to have but we end up making it superficially, i wonder why this happens. And now we are planning for a baby seriously. will this work? bcos my husband first said he didnt find my vagina hole properly and later he said after sometime that \";i can see but it is very small\"; iam afraid now. why this happens?
is this normal? he never inserted properly in, and i know that is the reason for not getting a baby. what shd i do get him inside. i normally spread my legs but sometimes afraid of the pain. so i get nervous and he makes it outside always. we are tensed nowadays. how to locate the vaginal hole, i have read that it will pain and bleed. Also while spreading the legs so wide i feel pain bcos iam not a kind of person who do exercise and all. so that much wide i am not able to spread. Plz friends don mistake me that im talking such things here, but iam very upset bcos we need a baby. All my friends who are married have a kid or pregnant, i feel so upset when i hear them. and i cry to my husband and he says me to syop as he says he is also tensed. will we succeed?
if vagina is small is that a problem? he says just like a ring in the finger the hole is.
is there any easy way for him to locate it?
plz help.... nowadays this is tehe only thot running in my mind.. and bcos of this iam not able to enjoy or not even eat my fav foof or watch TV, sleep or cook..i feel life is very difficult... and moreover my MIL started to ask whether any news??
my mom does not show it but she also feels and i know that... how iam going to give happiness to my hubby and parents... moreover some guests are also coming here to visit us for 3 months and i am scared abt -- when we were alone we were not able to do it properly and now they will stay with us i wonder how things will be..
i was feeling terrible yesterday night and today the first job iam posting it here so somebody will help me...iam crying and not at peace at all bcos of this..
plz plz plz helppp! Urmila replied. Hey Bitto,

No need to worry friend....

All you need to do is create romantic arotic atmosphere...ask ur hbby to be bit aggresive on the terms of stimulating ur mood.....
Enjoy your foreplay(enjoyment before sx).....it will automatically results into more lubricated vagina....
And once you feel its completely wet...then you can proceed for sx...so the lubrication and the elasticity will be at its utmost peak...so that then it will be really easier to have deeply inserted sx...with full of emotions and satisfaction...

SO Dont worry only be more romatic, passionate...arotic...and it will results in a most wished BABY.... hello ! replied. Bitto

First of all put baby making at the back of your mind.You need to start enjoying love making more and stop worrying about conceiving.Only a happy and relaxed mind can make your vagina sperm freindly and even your hubby should be relaxed and enjoying to have sperms of good quality and motility.Stress can adversely affect your ttc process.
First of all ,have sex for intimacy more than conceiving.You say that you there is no proper penetration.Work on that first.There are zillions of people with small vaginas.There is no correalton between size and sx.It can stretch to dramatic extents.So make sure you are lubricated thoroughly ,so that you feel less pain.Its not a big deal of a pain.It might slightly hurt the first time thats all.
Now ,to your position,start with a modified missionary.Thats the easy one for beginners.You dont stretch your legs out completely.Keep them at a 90degree so your hubby can have an easy and deep penetration.This way sperms will be deposited closest to the cervix.
Once you both are comfortable ,try other positions for fun.
Do not get despertae or lose sleep for such things.I know ,you could be very disappointed.You start with the doing the deed correctly.Its not like you are married for too long and unable to conceive.So enjoy your intimate moments.Baby will follow soon after.Stop crying and learn things slowly.It takes a while for things to fall in place.
All the best. Shalini replied. Hey Bitto..

Try to wrap ur legs arnd ur husband wen in position.. this way u will not feel pain in streching ur legs.. and u need not worry abt anything as it is very normal with almost all the virgin women.. it pains initially but its a pleasure later on...

Moreover, if u really want baby then be prepared to bear pains.. this is just the initial step.

ALL THE BEST

Shalini. S S replied. Hi Bitto,

Most of the time I am just the silent reader to this site.
I read your post and wud like to share that it was the same thing with me too but... what u need to do is take your husband in confidence... tell him to relax you...by talking, caressing, etc... also you shud not think that you are having sex cause u want a baby.. its a beautiful thing and also one of the way to show you husband that you love him alot.
He needs to try inserting it slowly .
Also its your part to relax and enjoy the same... there will be slight pain , but gradually your V will adapt the shape as per your husband and then you can have pleasure.
It bleeds only once when the hymen breaks but does not hurt much ... as it is hyped ..
Initially it may take sometime for you both but have patience.
If you both keep yourself realxed and try to enjoy you will definitely be sucessful.
Also you can get KY jelly to apply to your V for lubrication.
All the best.
Keep posting.
uma replied. Hi bitto,
I'm new to this site.Just registered and posted my query and read yours..dont worry. most of the women have a ring sized vagina BUT it has a CAPACITY TO STRECH(remember a size of a baby)all u need to do is RELAX when having intercource.Initially u'll have a little pain but will vanish eventually..And about families peer preasure for kids..hmmm...well...it wont vanish...
Relax