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Womens Issues:breaking up...
2003-09-09
Name: Priya



HI, i have known a guy for over 5 years..we started off being friends..for a couple of years and then we went out ever since...but a cuple of months ago...he broke up with me...i dont understand why..i mean it started with some minor argument we had whilst chatting online..i never knew it would be this serious that we'd break up cos of it..that time..we said many things we shouldnt have in anger..but later i realised that it was silly of us..and tried to get in touch with him to sort things out..but he never responded.
and now i feel that i've not only lost my boyfriend but also my best friend..i dont expect us to make up and forget everything..but i just want my best friend back.
does all this sound crazy and make me look like a psycho...i dnt know...maybe i should just accept the fact that we broke up..and get over it..trust me i've tried..but its not easy..i dont know what else to do..i've tried so much..any advice??
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2003-09-10
#1
Anonymous Name: Nina
Subject:  boyfriend/bestfriend



Dear Priya,
I don't know your age, but I am assuming you're young; this is because of the issue and the age in which it happened to me.

The argument should not have been enough to break you and him up...unless it was something that was very serious in the argument that he wasn't willing to deal with...

I think you're normal, it's not crazy to want back that friendship, but, being that it took a turn to being a relationship of boyfriend/girlfriend, it's very hard to imagine that you two could be friends and strictly that from her on out.

It hurts so much right now that you had this happen to you, but soon, very soon, you will be over him.

Since he didn't respond to your call...don't call him back, let him call you back if he ever does...when he calls you back...listen and don't appear to be overly eager to get back with him...(don't look desperate)

Okay...here is one more point my sister just mentioned to me...

Some guys are too immature to just break up with a girl, they try to use an argument or something as their way out.

Now that I've said that...

I know it's not going to make matters any better, but just take it easy and keep yourself occupied with work or school so you don't get even more depressed. Everything will work out.

I have been in your situation before.

Take care,
Nina
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2003-09-16
#2
Anonymous Name: Priya
Subject:  Hi Nina



Thanks for replying back to me...nice to hear that he realised his mistake and apologised to you..and you became friends again..so i guess anything is possible..but i do feel sorry for him that he decided not to get married....but i kind of understand where he's coming from..i would like you to take my email id..so we can stay in touch and so i can keep you updated...its mersadeslane at hotmail dot com..but so far i still havent heard anything from him..its been 2 months now...
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2003-09-12
#3
Anonymous Name: Nina
Subject:  Hi Priya



Dear Priya,
I was 19 when this happened to me. I am now 31 years old.

I liked this boy whom was a little older than I was. He and I talked alot over the phone and sent letters, met up and ate kulfi, but then, our relationship turned into a girl/boyfriend relationship.

One day, we had a disagreement about the something petty, like about what to eat...something just that petty...
he threw his hands up and said "Nina, maybe we're too different to be together...I cried and cried..."

I didn't want to let him go...
I left messages on his answering machine he didn't call back...
until one day, several months later, he saw me coming out of a store and he stopped me and talked. He at first acted like nothing happened, then, he broke down and apologized.

He said to me that the relationship made him nervous because he wanted to be married to me but felt my parent would not accept him, so to keep from getting hurt, he left me first.

That made me sad.

No, we didn't end up being married, but I accepted his apology and moved on...slowly...we became friends...even better than before...

and I married later on to someone else.
To this day, this boy has not married.
I feel sad about that, but, I think he is making this choice based on his nonwillingness to be mature for a girl.

I will tell more if you have more questions, I hope I could be of help. I wish all the best for you.

I would like for you to keep me updated.

Take care,
Sister...
Nina
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2003-09-11
#4
Anonymous Name: Priya
Subject:  Thanx!



Thanks Nina for your advice..and for understanding my problem..i was actually scared to read the reply..just in case it was negative...i'm actually 21 and met him at the age of 16/17...
i agree that the argument should not have been enough to break us up..but maybe your sister could be right..i dont know..
if you dont mind me asking..what happened in your situation...did he get back in touch?...with me sometimes i feel he will get in touch with me..and we will just laugh it all of..but then there are times..when i miss him soo much and feel i'l never be able to see him or talk to him anymore..i dont think i will ever get over him..cos he's my first love..and no one forgets their first..
i also know it will be hard to be friends after being in a relationship...but i wouldnt say its impossible...anyways write back soon..thanks again..
take care
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