Parents of Preschoolers  Discussion Forum

My daughter is 25 months old and i have put her in play group coz she is not a very independent child and is not very good at speech also. Though i work, her grandparents take care of her and she is in their comfort zone all the time. How much ever i tried, i have never been able to make her independent like many other kids coz of this hypergrandparenting. she is otherwise a very happy child at home. I just happened to make a suprise visit to her school. (Note: she does cry a little when we drop her at school, but we were told that she stops crying after we leave) and the teacher was trying to make a train out of the kids to take them to backyard where they hv their play area. only my daughter refused to join the train - she just holds the ayah' s hands and walks along with her. i hv always felt she is more comfortable with elders than with other kids. only for the past 2 months, she is exposed to many kids - during her early childhood, she was always with her parents and grandparents with no kids around. i am very depressed with her behavior. why can' t she play well with other kids? what should i do to make this situation better? i think working moms are the unluckiest people in the world. Afriend replied. First of all KK stop calling ur self unlucky bcoz u r working -r u not lucky to be a mother of such lovely child ?
Secondly as per ur prob. always rem. a child needs a child to play in the growing up years (that is why v suggest 2 kids instead of 1) and not grandparents .Grandparents tend to be overprotective with the kid & the child looses the childhood things like playing fighting etc.This overprotection can lead to a loss in independence bcoz they r always there 2 protect them .Fights with sibling -cousins ,playing games even getting hurt are part of growing up.Rem. a child when falls will c around if there is someone to help him to get up ,if nobody around will himself make an effort to get up .These little things make him independent .In case of grndparnts they will always come running to protect the child thus making him reliant .U cannot change these circumstances but with a little patience can achieve want u want .
Be relax she will be better once she starts mingling with other kids.Her holding the hand is nothing but just a psycological reflection of the protection she gets at home all time .Once she gets adjusted to the place & starts playing with other kids will slowly become independent .
Secondly at home when u are around just play with her like a child .Make her do things on her own -like eating food arranging her toys etc.
If u have any brother sister with kid of same age then encourage her to play with them.U can befriend ladies in ur society who have kids of her age & on weekends with u around can send her to their home or call kids at ur home for a game session .Like this she will slowly come out of her shell .
C u have to be patient with the kid do not overstress the child 2 much .
Take her to parks etc. where there are kids & help her play & mingle with them.
C every problem has a solution cursing ur self & blaming circumstances will not solve them .A little patience & effort can solve ur problem.
All the best sunita replied. Hi KK,

Youir kid is still feeling insecure. Thats the only thing.Because she has been with her grand parents for 2 long years.They have never given her independance.very protective in nature. Slowly she will start mingling with others.

One way you are right working Moms are unluckiest. My kid who is 30 months now has started being independent.He was going to day care since 1.5yrs, then I changed another day care at age of 2 yrs. But he was never happy. Everytime he cried when I dropped him at daycare. One month back I sent him to a play school .... To my surprise he went there happily.... No crying atall. All my pains are gone now...Teacher says he is a very good boy at school.

DOn' t worrry be patient,time will change for you as well.