Relationships  Discussion Forum

Hey friends , i am becoming emotionally weak, very depressed infact. I know i shd not be like that but i am loosening my heart n hopes again n using this board for having some voices of exp.

in nutshell, my hubby had an affair with a woman called XYZ, but never accepted till this date . i felt all its heat in my married life. After 2 years almost , we moved and life became good for me . Now few months back we came to know abt that XYZ' other affair n my husband since than is behaving very devastated n depressed. I have consulted counsellors n they have advised me to make my cool n give my hubby support .Fine .I am doing this but feeling myself like a looser. Now i am becoming depressed in return . I cant even ask my hubby that why n why n why ...because he needs my support in coming out depression .. but what abt me ? I am also a human being and really feeling emotionally exhausted .
Have 2 kids . I need to be happy for them because they spend most of their time with me .I need to maintain my moral high but not able to do that ... Nobody is much help to me at that time. All i m alone to play all responsibilities.
need your suggestions .....
dddd replied. Hey i understand how u feel. Your husband shud be ashamed of himself.he himself put u in depression and now wants u to bring him out of his.i am sorry for being a little harsh in my reply. but i feel its a fact.anyway you need to tell him how u feel after he cheated on you.Marriage should be mostly caring about each other.He didnt care about u when he went and had affair and just becoz that female went on and had another affair he wants your help now to bring him out of it. See if it were to be problems like job change,job loss or in laws problems or financial problems yes definitely u shud help him. But i feel not for this.Last year i was under severe depression . You knwo what i did i started showing my anger on my husband scolding him ,screaming etc. its a outlet it helps. I did it on him becoz he was the cause of my depression.before that he was emotionally and physically abusive and i gave him a stern reply to it. it was for 3 yrs and one day i had it. he was shocked as he hadnt expected it. he thot i wud take whatever he does.Also my confidence had hit a bottom in those 3 yrs after i took a step against him i was out of my depression and he was in one.i was separated for a short while and we were back after that separation and now he has been good.we were only back when i had gained back my confidence and sure of what to do next.
now the important steps u need to take is make an effort to come out of your depression. Excuse me but u need to come out of yours to think about your husband. its really taking u for granted for him to expect to bring him some confidence.Best of luck. Write your thoughts about this post. HBT replied. Dear Anu,

I am deeply concerned. I understand what you are going through! Was terribly busy the last four days. Me too still depressed, will talk today.