Relationships  Discussion Forum

hi,
i am a working mom of 1 year old . i am married since 3 years. i got my job when i was pregnant.
ours is arranged marriage. after lot of search i found him . i am in deeply love with him and he too loves me a lot. till before the arrival of the baby we use to long for each other every day but now we r concentrating more on the kid. we hardly see each other and r pre occupied with the baby. but we r always together. drives to office together as both works at same place.but diff companies.my FIL expired before our marriage.and MIL takes care of the baby.
i may sound very silly ..but my problem is before marriage he use to love me very fondly ..but now as most of the time he plays with the kid and does not see me.
sometime i feel i am a s/w enginee and i should think maturely but still i am disturbed.
i always wanted that our love and longing for each other should remain same always.
my husband use to give lot of attention to me before but now i feel it is less i have bcome little fat. but he denies and says its always same.but i can feel the difference. i also feel that even i have changed earlier i use to give him lot of attention but now more centred on my baby.
ladies does any one feel like that im confused....

ria replied. you know that where you are thinking\" silly\" and you yourself are changed because you too are giving attention to your baby. than where is the doubt? you just want an assurance that this is very normal and it happens very often. so be tension free and concentrate on the happiness of your life, your little family. be assured, nothing has changed , only priorities are different now. Ritika replied. What you are feeling is perfectly normal and natural. With a new baby, most all couples go through this...The way to rekindle romance in your life is to make an effort towards it. Just sitting about thinking that your husband should show his love more towards you, is not going to do it. You have to make an actual conscious effort.

Why don' t you start a fitness regimen to lose some weight? I dont mean dieting (speciallly if you are nursing) but exercising will surely help you get back on track as far as losing unwanted weight is concerned. You could even go out for a dinner and movie - just you and your husband..you could leave the baby with your mil during that time.

After a baby is born, it becomes even more imperitive that you have some alone time with your hubby in order to keep the love and romance alive between you. Because it is so easy to concentrate ONLY on your baby to the exclusion of everything else in your life...taking this time off with him might be difficult but think about it like going on a date with him...In the end it will definitely strengthen your bond with him.

All the best!