Relationships  Discussion Forum

I have read many articles men comparing indian womans to western.
After all what do these indian men think of them self, on bed they like to compare us to western girls who are so fond of sex like everready battery but they never compare themselves to western guys who care so much for their wife or girlfriends they also prepare dinner if she is late from work & feed the children & put them on bed before she comes home, so on coming she is carefree & tension free than naturally she is active on bed.
In west they just do with sandwhiches & indians they want rice,2types of curry & chappattis everyday in breakfast,lunchbox & dinner.
In west there are washing machines,& indians if dont have servant do all house work on your own.
Even though if she is a housewife they come from work & help her out for many things.
Indian men they even want a glass of water to be given to them in hand though how much tired she is they dont care.
Comparing woman to west they should compare themselves to west first. vimpi replied. How do you know that western women are like eveready batteries etc etc? It is wrong to go by such false notions. Where do such notions come from? I live in the west and I do not understand how Indians have such perceptions of the west. People like you need to broaden your own outlook first otherwise it is no use expecting any different from Indian men or anyone else. sumanR replied. Bharati,
the comparison is so wrong. Indian woman will raise hell if the man says the marriage is over one day. Not only that the mans parents will raise hell. Still there is more security for the indian woman in marriage than their american counterpart.
And also there can be more abuse for the woman too.The society will not accept a divorced woman as it does here.
There are two sides to a coin.
Each has its advantages and disadvantages. UIM replied. I must apologize for those less thought out remarks about relationships in the west. NO, I really do not undermine relationhsips or the pains people undergo in that part of the world. I too have some limited exposure of both the European and American societies by way of living in those countries in small stints. And I fully appreciate what Ritika says.

I hereby withdraw what I said in the 2nd para and request the third para to be understood to mean \" the rate of divorce is higher here and society is much more accepting of divorce and divorcees here than in India\" quoted from Ritika.

However I do appreciate the statement of Ritika \" That is SO not correct.\" Does Ritika mean it is correct to some extent? Well I do mean only that.

I repeat I did not intend to hurt any individual or a society. I am glad to see the healthy discussion on this board. Do keep it up. Ritika replied. I totally disagree with the second and third para of your mail where you lumped all the western men and women as having no ethical and family values.

That is SO not correct. I live in the US and work in an office that has 99% whites or african americans. Believe me, if one of their spouses cheated, they would raise hell!! A woman would mind tremendously and be very upset if her boyfriend or spouse had a one night stand...I dont know where you' ve got this idea that a western woman or man is not emotionally invested in their relationship!

While it is true that the rate of divorce is higher here and society is much more accepting of divorce and divorcees here than in India, it is also true that the pain and suffering the couples (and their kids) undergo is comparable to what an indian couple might face in similar circumstances. A marriage is usually not a hi and bye one (as Urban Indian Man seems to think it is over here). It is easier for abusive or incompatible marriages to end here and admit that you might have made a mistake, than it is for Indians.

I also agree with Bharti to a certain extent that Indian men expect to be waited on or their wishes given precedence over their wives...its been grounded in most of them since birth and it is very difficult for some of them to expect that their wives are individuals and need to be treated as an equal.

Just my 2 cents...

fd replied. i totally agree, mens and womens both r changing and in this new gener u will find that men are becoming more caring , freindly and they dont have ego problems.....

And women too,r trying to be levelheaded, educated and they both share a freindly relationship . So i too think that they guy whom u r talking about is some 2 decades back. Todays educated males are no more MCPs.

any name replied. Though i am female but absolutely agreed at evaluation given by Urban Indian Man .. No more words to add.. well said.... Urban Indian Man replied. Dear Bharati,

It appears as a working urban woman you have really got a raw deal in your husband. I do appreciate the picture of the indian men that you have painted but take it from me the picture is changing, very fast in quite a few sectors. Like in IT and ITES sector in the 30 plus minus age group you really may not fine the men much different than their western counter parts.

But are you also ready for the kind of ethical and family values the western men may have. Western women may almost not mind if the man has a few one night stands here and there. They may not even behave nosy to keep track of their husband all 24X7.

All of a sudden your partner may declare THIS MARRIAGE IS OVER, will you be ready to pack your bags?

So direct comparison does not work either by the men about the bed room nor by the women in the kitchen or the yard.

We are in a fast changing society where the pace of change also is difficult to cope with.

Talk to your husband tell him your expectations and desires and say that the expectations and desires are to be mutually met. I do not believe that indian women do not want sex! They do, as much as the men may be if not more sometimes!

Cheers, and keep posting let the discussion be on.