Relationships  Discussion Forum

We have been married for 8 years and we live in the US for 7 years. I came to know after marriage that my husband did not like to marry me and he married me because his parents compelled to marry me. I was so shocked to hear this matter after marriage. His whole family knows that he did not like to marry me( as he cried to many of his relatives that he did not like to marry me). Most of the time I used to cry and pray to God to help me out (when he’s in office). I have done my M.Phil in Human Development and he used to say that he married me thinking that I did “Human Resource Development”. He criticizes me-like how I look, my color (am of medium complexion). Sometimes I feel so left out and so depressed because I think he did not marry me in love.
Last year I caught him when he was chatting with many Indian girls (for 8 months he was chatting) and mailed many blonde girls. He said that he will not do it again and its one year now still I keep thinking that he enjoyed chatting with those girls rather than enjoying with me and my daughter.
All these years, he said that I am unfit for anything. I am a gold medalist in my college and I am smart in everything. Everyone appreciates me but only my husband thinks I am unfit. Why is he like this? Last week he commented about my pussy and said that he’s not making love to me but his dick only is making. I felt so shattered. Though he has commented on my body, my looks, my color and everything, now he commented about my p----. I am feeling so bad.
For last 3 months he’s talking to his friend for hours after coming from office. If his friend Mr. L is out of his office he will call and talk, till he reaches home. Myself and my daughter wait’s for my husband to come home so that we can spend sometime with him. But my husband will come home and talk to his friend in phone for 1 hour and then he will have his shower, eat dinner and sleep. I feel so bad that he does not spend time with us. I have told him politely and have fought about this matter, he does not think about it. Both my husband and his friend have T-mobile, its free for them and don’t care what I think. My daughter becomes restless these days.
I really want someone to talk or mail about my feelings. I feel so depressed. Why did he marry me, if he did not like me? In this 8 years of marriage, I have only had criticisms for everything. Please friends help me out to become a normal person.
Just before 6 months I started to go to college here and am thinking of applying for MD here in US.I don’t know whether I should be with him or leave him and go. My dau is 5 ½ years old. Will I be able to bring my daughter alone in India? My parents live there and know about us a little because at times I say to them about us. Please help me out. Should I really live with a person who does not care about my feelings or should I be with him until I finish my course in 2010? Am financially dependant on him. I am confused?? Please help me out.

Nidhi replied. hi there,

well what i would suggest is that as ur financially dependent on him so its better to finish n b independent i know it will be tough for u to wait for so long but then u gotta think bout ur child also n then u have been facing all this since 8 yrs so this proves that u r strong n can lead well enuf, dont worry n just now try to make a good career n then think what to do... when u wont b dependent on him u can talk to him n discuss things more openly n take decision take care
all the best
N.Y.C. replied. Now..that you know. What do you think is more important?

Make an appointment to see a Marriage counselor. Simi replied. Finish your course & then leave him.After studies, try for a job here & see how you can do & then decide whether you want to go back to India or stay here.
Let your mind take decisions not your heart.You have a little girl whose future & life are your responsibility.
GoodLuck