Relationships  Discussion Forum

Despite doing everything for my husband, being a dedicated and loving wife and great mother my husband does not appreciate me. He constantly compares me to other women especially his sister who is supposed to be the world's greatest mum, wife and human. I have told him several times not to compare since all 5 fingers are not the same but still. I am a good looking woman, smart and recently went back to college but still I am useless to him. I feel so sad! dia replied. Hi revathi,Dont get depressed! Its common problem ...First u be self confident and feel superior to her then u can easily handle ,I think! Find some faults with her (Every human is suppsed to err sometimes) So find errors minor and point in front of him but not in critisising way but in joking way... U practice it and u can do it. Then he might rise in stARTING BUT later u say ok, i might have some faults and she has too. Y do u compare with her ? Also tell him that the more he praise her the more u tend to hate her .And convey him that relation btwn her and u shd be in hormonal way for lifetime and his comparisons might lead to unhealthy relation btwn her and u.
These words frm u make him to rethink and might get frightened to see u hate his loving sister mso might atleast stop comparing!

Last but least..I want to to tell that dont ever expect any appraisal frm hubby. In similar way u behave care not and do ur job .Thats it.ui cant make everybody on tghe earth get pleased by u. And no neeed to please ur hubby when he never show satisfaction when u did anything fine. Convey it once and be confident ur face shows ur feelings. so he would change a little positive.

Vipin replied. Hi Revathi,
I understand how you feel. We all have to compromise a marriage for the sake of our children. How helpless we all become. Its the same story in so many households and it hurts. And it is very painful to be a single mother... both financially, physically and emotionally.

I would suggest that you bear it with courage. Always think that separation or divorce will be worse than what it is now. Try to find positives in your relationship. Develop some hobbies like music, sports and travel.
You can always share your sorrows with friends like us at this message board
Don't worry .... everything would be fine.
Cheers. Vipin replied. Hi Revathi,
I understand how you feel. We all have to compromise a marriage for the sake of our children. How helpless we all become. Its the same story in so many households and it hurts. And it is very painful to be a single mother... both financially, physically and emotionally.

I would suggest that you bear it with courage. Always think that separation or divorce will be worse than what it is now. Try to find positives in your relationship. Develop some hobbies like music, sports and travel.
You can always share your sorrows with friends like us at this message board
Don't worry .... everything would be fine.
Cheers. Revathi replied. I have tried doing that in the past but my husband gets into a terrible rage if pushed that way and so I just listen & keep quiet. We don't live with my inlaws but when we meet them, it's always great big big songs about my SIL. I understand that she is their daughter and his sibling so there is great love in that relationship but to the extent when you are constantly ridiculed and told to your face, my sister is much more smarter than you, you are nothing it is very hurtful. I have reached a stage where I don't feel any love and respect for him and at times I really want to run away. I am in this marriage only for the sake of my children because they will suffer the most if we break up.

I am sad because you get married with such high hopes..you leave your parents house to give light to another home but when you get disrespected and compared....it's just heart breaking.

But thank you for being there for me..I really appreciate it. PP replied. Hi,

my hubby and MIL is also same... always comparing me with SIL...

u do one thing....start comparing ur hubby with SIL's ubby in terms of salary...her nature and all..

than if he points out to yu that why are u comparing than reply back to him saying that i doing all this to make you realise that how i feel when u compare me with SIL...

BYEEE
PP N.Y.C. replied. You tried and you failed.

If he don't appreciate what's in front of him..then just ignore him.



xyz replied. Hi Revati
I know some husbands r like that ,when he is comparing u to his sister and other women ,u also compare him with the other man but dont do it in anger ,may be then he will relise ur pain .wish u good luck