Relationships  Discussion Forum

Hi everybody.I have a question and need help to understand the happenings in my life.
I am a friendly person and right since college i have had to deal with friends who backbite and who kind of treat me like a rag/doormat.I on the other hand used to love the company of people and still do,always end up being ill treated and friends turning out to be disloyal.And I still keep all their secrets and never till date spilled out any of these things to anybody not even when they turned their backs on me .
Even today after marriage I have friends who use me for their personal needs but when I need a shoulder to cry on they don't have time for me,if it happens once I understand but everytime.
Today I found out one more thing my cousins who were very close to me have turned disloyal to me and turned to befriend my s-i-l who is out to push me out of the family.She turned my cousins also against me.
Why does this keep happening to me?????
Should I give up my dream of having lots of good friends??? sowmya replied. dear shweta,
i can totally understand u & have gone through the exact same things.when i read ur message, i felt as though ur speaking abt my feelings.i know it hurts a lot.i have always made people feel special & good abt themselves,but they hurt me,take me for granted & treated me like a durt.i'm a very sensitive person & has cried days over that,but believe me there is no use.u will be the one to suffer.they all just keep having fun.regarding cousins & relatives, dont even expect anything from them.they are the biggest jerks & they are the last people to wish anything good for u.they always only wish bad for u & can never see u happy.last time when i visited India,my relatives also behaved very badly with me.they didnt even say a proper hi to me & i could see that high amount of jealousy in their eyes ?& it hurt & tortured me a lot.when i came back to US i kept on remembering their harsh words i cried over months together.i used to tell my hubby & cry & wonder why they were so mean to me when i've been so good to them always.the result is i lost my precious 1 year over that & the fun i used to have wid my hubby.i was stupid.people are like that.they never change.\" YOu should change\" .become strong.dont give a damm abt anyone.if they treat u well, u also treat them well.if they ill treat u, you shld also just ignore or do the same thing to them.in life nobody will understand u & give u a shoulder to lean on.u shld learn to take care of urself.so cheer up gal, grow strong.make friends wid someone who respects u.otherwise ur better off without such friends.trust me !!!
hope this helps u atleast to a certain extent ashitha replied. hi swetha,
same thing happens with me too..so many of my relatives even though i have helped them financially in tons of way still, they don't even say proper hello to me when i call them..it really hurts so bad.but that is the key..they are jealous of you. and want to enjoy see you getting hurt.so don't show any reaction to their action and keep quite.don't show any expression at all..make new friends mingle with everyone..sometimes i understand you need shoulder to lean on for your emotional related problem..but grow up..nobody is there for anyone.be strong..think that this is the chance god giving you to grow up by yourelf without anyone's help.Lots of love from me..take care.