Relationships  Discussion Forum

hi this is mamta
i m marreid since 14 years.our husband wife relation was very good,but since 2 years my husband changed.he started chatting with girls abt sex.i didnt like and tried to stop him.we had many fights.he stoped talking with girls. but lost trust in me bcz i told his mum what bullshit he talks with girls.i did this bcz he is scared of his mother.after that he stopped telling me anything that i broke his trust.now he doesnt talk with anygirl.but doesnt let me sit near him when he talks with his friends(boys).now the problem is worse.he has started hiding his cell phone.he sleeps with them down the pillow which is hurting me.its making me depressed.i dont know what to do.i think he calls my neighbour who was my best friend before,but we broke off bcz opf her taunting nature.but my husband likes her bcz of her helping nature and has good businessrelation with her husband also,even my mil has good relation with her.i always tell my hubby that i know why u r hiding ur mobile bcz she calls u and even u call her to talk.and we start fighting.i really dont know what to do.i trust my hubby he cant do anything wrong but still some times i get insecured.tell me how to get back his trust in me i feel very depressed when he hides things from me.he says even if i tell u truth u think i m lying.so he cant help it.plz plz give me some solution to get back happiness in my life or i just walk out of his life.but we both love each other very much and cant live without each other.our fights r disturbing our children,plz help SONYA replied. Dear Mamta,

I can only imagine how you are feeling
right now. Trust, compromise, communication
are just a few......that is the key to
having a happy marriage.

You said that--You want him to trust you.
Mamta, how can he trust you, if you
say that he is cheating. You should
never tell him this, okay? and the worse
part of this is: even though, you knew
he is afraid of his mom.....You went
to his Mother anyway.

Nobody like a backstabber, Mamta. And...
the only reason why he feels that he
can't tell you anything anymore was
because of that incident. That is what's
hurting him. His own wife!

I am sorry to be so harsh on you, Mamta.
But.....It really is hard to built
trust, again. Since, I have never been
in this situation: I can't give you an
experience.

But....I don't think your marriage is
going down. You both have children
together, he is not going to throw
it away. All he is asking is for you
to stop accusing him. Stop pointing
at him. Show him some respect.How???

From now on: No more accusing. And
start asking more questions. Don't say
\" I know who you are talking to\" --instead
say \" honey--who are you talking to?\"
--Show him some love. Be sweet to him.
think back when you use to show your
love to him, what did you do? try to
do the same. A fresh start will do you
some good.

Mamta....I really hope that there are
other people here with your experience
that way.......you can see how they cope
with this. Just remember to be really
really, I repeat....really patience!
It takes time. He will forgive you.