Relationships  Discussion Forum

I have recently been widowed. I am a single father with a three year old son. I am trying to plan for the future. One way forward l think is to try and get help in bringing up our son. Perhaps a nanny / ayah. Has anyone any advice on how l can drive this idea forward? Indimom replied. Single Dad,

Nanny is a great idea. I am not sure where you live in the states or in India. However, in the states, if you live in a nicely populated india area, you can usually get an older person to help with the your child and house. vasuka replied. Hi ! Go for another marriage. I t is very difficult to rely on servants or even relatives. everybody will be having their own problems. I wont blame others. It is u who should take care of ur child. As the child grows it becomes very difficult to take care if his needs managing your official work. I have experienced this . I lost my wife at the age of 36 and I decided not to marry. At that time my children were of 4 and 1 year old. Added to this mine was transeferable job. In the begining i took help of Baby care centres. I appointed a old lady for about one year.Due to her bad health she was cooking and keeping in fridge to feed for another two days. Then in other place I appointed a lady for cooking.Her duty was only morning two hours . but it became very difficult daily to bring vegetables and other items and her preparation was very expensive. fed up with all this i joined some yoga class and becouse of this I used to getup early in the morning . as lot of ready made powders are available cooking is not difficult. I was doing Rice Sambar every day morning and it was taking care of lunch,dinner and tiffin box too. In all the places i got good neighbourers so my children were safe. Now they are grownup and first daughter is studying B.E ist year and 2nd daughter is in 9th.
Now I am reaching 50. I have built a house but to do grihapravesh i am feeling her absense. No doubt as the time passes children will grow. Feeding is not the only job of parent. Think. It is your life. It is absolutelyyour chice to decide the way. all the best chitra replied. i am a single mom - i lost my husband over a year back - i have 2 sons -5/2.
i was luck to find an excellent girl who took care of the little one - and my job - as a teacher helped as i took the older one to school.
now i work in a hotel - way across the seas from india- and stay here too- so i keep an eye on work and kids.
i am lucky in that. but you cn try and merge the 2 lives as best.
but do get some help and time off from the problems of life.the loneliness can really get you down - and the frustration of all the stuff we try to handle and the attempts to be super parents.
all the best Swati replied. Dear Single Dad,

Sorry to hear abt your recent loss! Please try and see if you can find help with your parents /in-laws first - i.e. if they'll help you look after your precious little one and then think of leaving the baby with a nanny/ayah! Look it is very important that your son has more influence of your class of people than of ayahs/nannies! They can never replace family. Let them be there to help your parents/in-laws who ever is willing to look after the kid but don't let your son be at the mercy of the help - he will be very insecure!