i am a single mother, divorced, with 2 children. life is not easy, but i love my children! my husband hasnt bothered to visit his children since our divorce, and it has been more than 2 years... I'd love to hear from other single parents.
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i am a single mother, divorced, with 2 children. life is not easy, but i love my children! my husband hasnt bothered to visit his children since our divorce, and it has been more than 2 years... I'd love to hear from other single parents.
Mark replied. I am Mark, Indian /Male/ working in Dubai last 8 years, I am a single parent for my 10 years old daughter & I am taking care of my daughter by facing lots of internal as well as external problems. You can imagine how difficult is bringing up a small kid in foreign country like UAE. I read all the problems and issues of single parenting. b coz I am experiencing that. Any one want to discuss their problems regarding single parenting, or husband and wife separation issue i am ready to join with them to find good solutions. Me and my wife separated almost 8 years back ,In that time every one said Father can not take care of baby girl , I took that challenge and she is now 10 years old. I didn’t tried to get marry also. I used to read lots of issue here, I wish to get involve and find some solutions for them. For that any one can contact me. thru email.
Best of luck for every one
Rgds /
Mark from UAE
charu replied. hi
I am a independent woman working as a teacher. I fully agree with ur words but can u help me out for solving a major problem that is how should i tell my 9 yrs. old son about my divorce and till now i am staying with my parents and he thinks that my dad is his Father and as far as my mom is concerned he calls her naani. and i am staying with my parents when my son was 1 1/2 yrs. old. and now my younger sister is getting married and everyone will be there at our house, so i want that i should tell him the fact instead it comes out of anybody's else mouth
shree prakash replied. Kindly see my experience under roll call
coulumn. sorry to trouble you
Premi replied. Dear Chanda,
I am also a single mother in the same situatin. With no father in the kids life it is very difficult and i know that at times I have wished things were different and wondered why me? But we must remember that life is not perfect and we can only do our best. I am sure that you are a very good mother.
What I have found helpful, particularly if you have sons but also for a daughter, is to have my brother and father play a large role in my son's life. This seems to alleviate some feelings of insecurity on their part and helps me with stress on my part. If you have a good cousin, brother, or father nearby you should consider this. If you are far away from home the situation is more difficult, but if you do have a good friend with kids consider spending time with that family so that her husband can spend time with the kids too. A close friend will understand the situation and will enjoy being an aunt (and her husband an uncle)to your kids. Of course we should always be very careful about who we let our kids spend time with because a lot of things can hapen but if you have people that you trust you should be fine. Just stay positive and know you are doing a good job.
Premi
chitra replied. dear chanda,
i am a single parent of 2 kids - single not by choice. and i guess in some ways that makes it easier to accept. i am not waiting for the day the father of these kids will call or take an interest in their live - he is not alive to do so. so the whole responsibility is mine - whether i like it or not. so even on the really tough days - the good ones can be counted on the fingers of 1 hand- its my problem - there is noone else.
and the day you let go of the past - and STOP EXPECTING anything fronm the person who is not there in the first place- it may be easier to deal with the present.
its not easy. unfortunately - often in my case- the kids bear the brunt of it and i know i need help there.
but we all need help. that's why we are here.
so just share your frustrations and lets try and laugh at ourselves and live one day at a time.
take care
chitra
sheel replied. hi chanda,
I can realise how you must be feeling and facing a lot problems. I am not divorced but my hubby is working abrod and i have one 3.5 year old kid and am caring another one. it is difficult without life partner. even I feel some time frusteted but then realise that one has to face the situation. My hubby loves us a lot but he can't help the situation. I am also alone here and facing a lot problems. I made my self veyr strong and tough. wish you all the best and i can only say that make your self storng and try to understand your kids. they are also passing from difficult itme. good luck
Astha replied. I am a single mom of a 4 yrs old daughter and facing a problem with her bed wetting can anybody help me for this please send me ur suggestions .
jenny replied. chanda,
i really admire you for your courage. i am sure it must have been a real turmoil to be going thru the separation and getting your children with you. i am a happily married woman with a child. i lived apart from my husband for a couple of years and that brought us even closer. i guess it was a blessing in a way because he became more sensitive to our relationship. i think its healthy for all couples to get a break from each other for a month or two so they can review their love for each other. otherwise, it gets monotonous and they tend to take each other for granted. you may want to talk with ur children about how they feel being without a father and would they want a man in thier life? best of luck.
Sangeetha Balachandar replied. Dear Chanda,
IT is a courageous task that you have taken upon yourself. Dont give up.
I am not divorced, but both of us work at different cities.
I am also working, but it is a great feeling to come back to the kid, and see the love in their eye.
All the best
Friend replied. Hi Chanda -
I am not divorced but have thought about it. I have a 15 month old.
I know a few single parents (moms and dads) and I give you all a lot of credit. You must have had your reasons for divrocing eachother and it can not be easy raising your 2 children alone but you are doing it. I wish all the best!!
Just take care of yourself and your children. Even though you and your husband have your differences, talk only positively about your ex to your children. He is after all thier father, let them form thier own opinion and judgement regarding thier father and thier relationship with them. If they should ask you about what happened and you feel they are old enough to understand, tell them the truth but don't bash your husband no matter what happens.
Good luck.
mohini replied. hi chanda,
i just wanted to ask u something, do your kids really miss their father?
i know it might be a little difficult for u, but try and find out what they expect from u?
do they feel the need of having a father?
2005-05-22
#1
Name: Mark Subject: Help for Single Parents
I am Mark, Indian /Male/ working in Dubai last 8 years, I am a single parent for my 10 years old daughter & I am taking care of my daughter by facing lots of internal as well as external problems. You can imagine how difficult is bringing up a small kid in foreign country like UAE. I read all the problems and issues of single parenting. b coz I am experiencing that. Any one want to discuss their problems regarding single parenting, or husband and wife separation issue i am ready to join with them to find good solutions. Me and my wife separated almost 8 years back ,In that time every one said Father can not take care of baby girl , I took that challenge and she is now 10 years old. I didn’t tried to get marry also. I used to read lots of issue here, I wish to get involve and find some solutions for them. For that any one can contact me. thru email.
Best of luck for every one
Rgds /
Mark from UAE
2003-09-11
#2
Name: charu Subject: how to tell 9yr old child about mother's divorce
hi
I am a independent woman working as a teacher. I fully agree with ur words but can u help me out for solving a major problem that is how should i tell my 9 yrs. old son about my divorce and till now i am staying with my parents and he thinks that my dad is his Father and as far as my mom is concerned he calls her naani. and i am staying with my parents when my son was 1 1/2 yrs. old. and now my younger sister is getting married and everyone will be there at our house, so i want that i should tell him the fact instead it comes out of anybody's else mouth
2003-06-14
#3
Name: shree prakash Subject: wrong classification
Kindly see my experience under roll call
coulumn. sorry to trouble you
2002-12-15
#4
Name: Premi Subject: some thoughts
Dear Chanda,
I am also a single mother in the same situatin. With no father in the kids life it is very difficult and i know that at times I have wished things were different and wondered why me? But we must remember that life is not perfect and we can only do our best. I am sure that you are a very good mother.
What I have found helpful, particularly if you have sons but also for a daughter, is to have my brother and father play a large role in my son's life. This seems to alleviate some feelings of insecurity on their part and helps me with stress on my part. If you have a good cousin, brother, or father nearby you should consider this. If you are far away from home the situation is more difficult, but if you do have a good friend with kids consider spending time with that family so that her husband can spend time with the kids too. A close friend will understand the situation and will enjoy being an aunt (and her husband an uncle)to your kids. Of course we should always be very careful about who we let our kids spend time with because a lot of things can hapen but if you have people that you trust you should be fine. Just stay positive and know you are doing a good job.
Premi
2002-09-06
#5
Name: chitra Subject: its tough , but....
dear chanda,
i am a single parent of 2 kids - single not by choice. and i guess in some ways that makes it easier to accept. i am not waiting for the day the father of these kids will call or take an interest in their live - he is not alive to do so. so the whole responsibility is mine - whether i like it or not. so even on the really tough days - the good ones can be counted on the fingers of 1 hand- its my problem - there is noone else.
and the day you let go of the past - and STOP EXPECTING anything fronm the person who is not there in the first place- it may be easier to deal with the present.
its not easy. unfortunately - often in my case- the kids bear the brunt of it and i know i need help there.
but we all need help. that's why we are here.
so just share your frustrations and lets try and laugh at ourselves and live one day at a time.
take care
chitra
2002-06-11
#6
Name: sheel Subject: single mom
hi chanda,
I can realise how you must be feeling and facing a lot problems. I am not divorced but my hubby is working abrod and i have one 3.5 year old kid and am caring another one. it is difficult without life partner. even I feel some time frusteted but then realise that one has to face the situation. My hubby loves us a lot but he can't help the situation. I am also alone here and facing a lot problems. I made my self veyr strong and tough. wish you all the best and i can only say that make your self storng and try to understand your kids. they are also passing from difficult itme. good luck
2002-05-24
#7
Name: Astha Subject: Single Mom
I am a single mom of a 4 yrs old daughter and facing a problem with her bed wetting can anybody help me for this please send me ur suggestions .
2002-09-06
#8
Name: chitra Subject: bedwetting..
hi,
i have a 5 yr old son who does have the problem of bedwetting sometimes.
some of the ways to handle this are-
# make sure she goes to the loo just before she gets to bed.
# avoid giving her water/ liquids for atleast an hour before bed time.
# if she wakes at night - take her to the loo.
# don't stress her out - or fret about it - it give the child a complex- and believe me - they are never too young!!
# don't stress yourself out- but be very aware of the child's emotional state- is she afraid of something/tense/sad/worried she will not live up to your expectations?
and pls pls stay cool about the issue- it does settle down.
all the best
chitra
2001-12-20
#9
Name: jenny Subject: single mom
chanda,
i really admire you for your courage. i am sure it must have been a real turmoil to be going thru the separation and getting your children with you. i am a happily married woman with a child. i lived apart from my husband for a couple of years and that brought us even closer. i guess it was a blessing in a way because he became more sensitive to our relationship. i think its healthy for all couples to get a break from each other for a month or two so they can review their love for each other. otherwise, it gets monotonous and they tend to take each other for granted. you may want to talk with ur children about how they feel being without a father and would they want a man in thier life? best of luck.
2001-10-17
#10
Name: Sangeetha Balachandar Subject: All the best
Dear Chanda,
IT is a courageous task that you have taken upon yourself. Dont give up.
I am not divorced, but both of us work at different cities.
I am also working, but it is a great feeling to come back to the kid, and see the love in their eye.
All the best
2001-08-14
#11
Name: Friend Subject: single mom
Hi Chanda -
I am not divorced but have thought about it. I have a 15 month old.
I know a few single parents (moms and dads) and I give you all a lot of credit. You must have had your reasons for divrocing eachother and it can not be easy raising your 2 children alone but you are doing it. I wish all the best!!
Just take care of yourself and your children. Even though you and your husband have your differences, talk only positively about your ex to your children. He is after all thier father, let them form thier own opinion and judgement regarding thier father and thier relationship with them. If they should ask you about what happened and you feel they are old enough to understand, tell them the truth but don't bash your husband no matter what happens.
Good luck.
2001-07-24
#12
Name: mohini Subject: hi chanda
hi chanda,
i just wanted to ask u something, do your kids really miss their father?
i know it might be a little difficult for u, but try and find out what they expect from u?
do they feel the need of having a father?
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This is a part of my course ,
The benefit you will get out of this is you will get to know your childs attachment style and it will be helpful to get my degree ....
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how to tell 9yr old child about mother's divorce
wrong classification
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