I am a single mom of a two year old. I thought of starting a message board where single parents can post their thoughts and problems. Life is quite lonely and I thought this is a good way to make friends with other single parents.
Rashmi
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Hi
I am a single mom of a two year old. I thought of starting a message board where single parents can post their thoughts and problems. Life is quite lonely and I thought this is a good way to make friends with other single parents.
Rashmi
swati replied. hi i am single mom of a 1 yr old
Mark replied. I am Mark, Indian /Male/ working in Dubai last 8 years, I am a single parent for my 10 years old daughter & I am taking care of my daughter by facing lots of internal as well as external problems. You can imagine how difficult is bringing up a small kid in foreign country like UAE. I read all the problems and issues of single parenting. b coz I am experiencing that. Any one want to discuss their problems regarding single parenting, or husband and wife separation issue i am ready to join with them to find good solutions. Me and my wife separated almost 8 years back ,In that time every one said Father can not take care of baby girl , I took that challenge and she is now 10 years old. I didn’t tried to get marry also. I used to read lots of issue here, I wish to get involve and find some solutions for them. For that any one can contact me. thru email.
Best of luck for every one
Rgds /
Mark from UAE.
Mark replied. hi to all , Me too a single parent
sumi replied. hi cheerful,
it was infact soothing to read about u as i am also a single mother(recently). for me problems came so fast and now we are separate as i thought that if we are together it would effect my child more. do advise me as i dont know how i will explain all this to my son. he is just one and a half years old.
o.k take care and be in touch.
bye.
sumi
Jagdeep replied. Hi cheerful, great idea.
I am single mom of a 2 year old. I just got offered a job in bombay (in delhi rite now), but am aprehensive about taking it cos i don wanna put my baby in a day-care. is there a mom who has her own babies, who runs a home care kinda thing? or a mom i can share accomodation with? any help will be great. don't have much time.
daddyo replied. Hello Cheerful,
Its just great being a parent first and foremost single or otherwise. I am experiencing single parenthood after 23 years of a very fulfiling marriage. My daughter is 17 and my son is 12. The struggle I realise is emmense always when suddenly faced with a future without a shoulder to lean on. I must confess that after my wife expired after a long and brave struggle with cancer a cold shiver ran down my spine. A growing adoloscent girl and a son who hardly realised what hit him. But I tell you things have a way of working out. Out of no great effort I have gotten close to my kids and they to me. Our maid of 2 years just naturally steped in and took over most of the mundane chores that a household requires. We have developed a sense of faith and the need to share together.It isn't all that bad , lonley yes, but not real bad. Being male has its advantages in such situations but I can tell it doesn't diminish the responsibility of being a good parent - a pirority we both take on to ourselves with similar verve and commitment. I must concede I am a bit anxious about my daughter. Not that she is a pest. Far from it. She is shy, lovable and forever my little darling. But she is growing fast. She will look for a world away from home and her father. I will need to help her develop a life that she can eventually call her own and relate to. This is a time I need friends to whom I can relate to. Can I call on you folks?
Ciao for now
hems replied. hi,
i m a single mom of a 4-1/2 yr old boy. i know how it feels being a single mom. what my experience is kids r very understanding (at least my son is) it makes me smile but even m worried at times seeing him being so understanding and caring at this tender age towards me.
i have told him gradually about the break up by giving him examples like he is not friends with some guys in his daycare coz they fight wtih each other if they play together so that's how mom and dad have also decided to stay apart. but at the same time i tell him that we both love him and need him the most.
there r moments of doubt and anxiety though but then i tell myself that kids who r not from broken families too have so many probs!!! so the bottom line is be happy and just let go.
hems
hari replied. Hello
I am a 33 yr old single father of a 7 yr old girl. I have been having these thoughts of yours to form a forum or a meeting place for people like us to share, learn and get along with life. I confess my separation was not really smooth and took me a while to get rid of the scars. I sure would love to contribute whatever i can, by way of sharing to cope with situations.
Take care and all the best
Premi replied. Hi Rashmi,
I know exactly how you feel. I am a single mother too of a four year old and I have experienced the same anguish, stress, and guilt. It is always hard not to feel guilty because this is never how we intended our families to be, we always pictured an intact family with a happy mom and dad and smiling kids (or at least I did). But when I feel this way I always remember that whatever happens is for a reason. Chances are your child isn't asking questions yet but as he/she gets older the questions will come up so it is best ot be prepared because (at least for me) it was a difficult and emotional conversation. Yet remember that there are many questions we can never anticipate. I try to remember that our kids pick up on our stress and depression so it's important to stay as positive as possible.
That's why a site like this is so good. It is so important for mothers to be able to talk and exchange experiences and ideas. We all need support because parenting is really one of the harderst and most noble undertakings there is, and single parenting is even more challenging. The more you talk to us the better you will feel.
It is easy to feel guilty no matter what the situation but you should always remember what a good mother you are, being on this site is proof of this. We all do our best, and your child is very lucky to have a mother who is so loving and concerned. All the best to you and your child.
Premi
nicemom replied. hi rashmi,
i can very well understand how you feel. i am a mom too and many a times we are so bottled up with our tensions that we don't give the quality attention to our kids. but don't feel guilty about it. instead, after you return from work and when you go to the bathroom for your shower, close your eyes and try removing all thoughts of office and other problems, b'coz now you have to know that your role in the house has changed to a mother. what i do many a times is, take a deep breath and say to myself that my baby is innocent and bubbling with ethussiasm. she doesn't know whether mom has had a tough day at work or not. i take a deep breath, rub off my tears and start off. seeing her smile makes me better and this is a real reward for me. i do get irritated sometimes, but then we have to keep in mind that we are humans not super humans. SO DON'T FEEL GUILTY. i tend to pamper her more b'coz of this. tho' i'm not a single parent but i still face the same things.
about how to tell her about the seperation...it depend how your relationship with your daughter is. tell her that many a times two people can't adjust with eachothers thoughts , deeds, feelings. so, instead of fighting with eachother, its better we both move away, so that no one fights. explain that tiffs and fights are not good for anybody. so in order for mommy and daddy to live happily, they needed to go apart. keep telling her that mommy loves her a lot and she is very very imp. to you. also tell her that dad loves her too. so that she feels secure. its just that the 2 adults were not happy. let her know that she is the most imp. thing to both of you'll.
its imp to make her understand that if she does some mistakes, mommy won't leave her b'coz she is mad at her. mommy always forgives and loves her child. im that way, she doesn't get the picture that fights always means drifting apart.
does your hubby keep in touch with your daughter? make up the story according to your situation.
again, rashmi, let me tell you, don't feel guilty. there are times in our lives , we sit back and feel , did i do right. but keep strong and fight life. life is beautiful. glod bless you and love to your children.
keep writing
Nina replied. Hello Rashmi,
I'm not a single mother, but I am a Mother and I would love to share stories, listen, just be there as a friend to you and all others that come here.
Being a Mother is a big job, it's not easy at all. Being single; I'm sure is tough too.
I am a Mommy of a soon to be 5 year old and a 5/soon to be 6 month old; both girls.
Take care;
Hope to hear from you,
Nina
nicemom replied. hi cheerful (rashmi),
i am not a single parent but i can very well empathise with any one of you'll. please count me in for any thoughts, feelings, vent-outs, discussions.
do you need to talk, rashmi?
2005-11-13
#1
Name: swati Subject: single mom
hi i am single mom of a 1 yr old
2005-05-18
#2
Name: Mark Subject: Single Parent
I am Mark, Indian /Male/ working in Dubai last 8 years, I am a single parent for my 10 years old daughter & I am taking care of my daughter by facing lots of internal as well as external problems. You can imagine how difficult is bringing up a small kid in foreign country like UAE. I read all the problems and issues of single parenting. b coz I am experiencing that. Any one want to discuss their problems regarding single parenting, or husband and wife separation issue i am ready to join with them to find good solutions. Me and my wife separated almost 8 years back ,In that time every one said Father can not take care of baby girl , I took that challenge and she is now 10 years old. I didn’t tried to get marry also. I used to read lots of issue here, I wish to get involve and find some solutions for them. For that any one can contact me. thru email.
Best of luck for every one
Rgds /
Mark from UAE.
2005-05-18
#3
Name: Mark Subject: single parent
hi to all , Me too a single parent
2004-07-03
#4
Name: sumi Subject: single parenting
hi cheerful,
it was infact soothing to read about u as i am also a single mother(recently). for me problems came so fast and now we are separate as i thought that if we are together it would effect my child more. do advise me as i dont know how i will explain all this to my son. he is just one and a half years old.
o.k take care and be in touch.
bye.
sumi
2007-07-14
#5
Name: shal Subject: hi
hi,wer about r u frm. id like to hear frm u, as im goin thru same situation,separated from my husband.living with my 1 year old daughter.my m,inlaw gave me grief and always interferd in mine and her sons relationshp,also he had a phyco brother living with us,and it was very dangerous me living with my kid,email me we can talk if ur frm uk.
2004-03-22
#6
Name: Jagdeep Subject: need help
Hi cheerful, great idea.
I am single mom of a 2 year old. I just got offered a job in bombay (in delhi rite now), but am aprehensive about taking it cos i don wanna put my baby in a day-care. is there a mom who has her own babies, who runs a home care kinda thing? or a mom i can share accomodation with? any help will be great. don't have much time.
2003-10-23
#7
Name: daddyo Subject: Single parenting
Hello Cheerful,
Its just great being a parent first and foremost single or otherwise. I am experiencing single parenthood after 23 years of a very fulfiling marriage. My daughter is 17 and my son is 12. The struggle I realise is emmense always when suddenly faced with a future without a shoulder to lean on. I must confess that after my wife expired after a long and brave struggle with cancer a cold shiver ran down my spine. A growing adoloscent girl and a son who hardly realised what hit him. But I tell you things have a way of working out. Out of no great effort I have gotten close to my kids and they to me. Our maid of 2 years just naturally steped in and took over most of the mundane chores that a household requires. We have developed a sense of faith and the need to share together.It isn't all that bad , lonley yes, but not real bad. Being male has its advantages in such situations but I can tell it doesn't diminish the responsibility of being a good parent - a pirority we both take on to ourselves with similar verve and commitment. I must concede I am a bit anxious about my daughter. Not that she is a pest. Far from it. She is shy, lovable and forever my little darling. But she is growing fast. She will look for a world away from home and her father. I will need to help her develop a life that she can eventually call her own and relate to. This is a time I need friends to whom I can relate to. Can I call on you folks?
Ciao for now
2003-10-06
#8
Name: hems Subject: single parenting
hi,
i m a single mom of a 4-1/2 yr old boy. i know how it feels being a single mom. what my experience is kids r very understanding (at least my son is) it makes me smile but even m worried at times seeing him being so understanding and caring at this tender age towards me.
i have told him gradually about the break up by giving him examples like he is not friends with some guys in his daycare coz they fight wtih each other if they play together so that's how mom and dad have also decided to stay apart. but at the same time i tell him that we both love him and need him the most.
there r moments of doubt and anxiety though but then i tell myself that kids who r not from broken families too have so many probs!!! so the bottom line is be happy and just let go.
hems
2003-10-04
#9
Name: hari Subject: I share your feelings !!
Hello
I am a 33 yr old single father of a 7 yr old girl. I have been having these thoughts of yours to form a forum or a meeting place for people like us to share, learn and get along with life. I confess my separation was not really smooth and took me a while to get rid of the scars. I sure would love to contribute whatever i can, by way of sharing to cope with situations.
Take care and all the best
2002-12-15
#10
Name: Premi Subject: I know how you feel
Hi Rashmi,
I know exactly how you feel. I am a single mother too of a four year old and I have experienced the same anguish, stress, and guilt. It is always hard not to feel guilty because this is never how we intended our families to be, we always pictured an intact family with a happy mom and dad and smiling kids (or at least I did). But when I feel this way I always remember that whatever happens is for a reason. Chances are your child isn't asking questions yet but as he/she gets older the questions will come up so it is best ot be prepared because (at least for me) it was a difficult and emotional conversation. Yet remember that there are many questions we can never anticipate. I try to remember that our kids pick up on our stress and depression so it's important to stay as positive as possible.
That's why a site like this is so good. It is so important for mothers to be able to talk and exchange experiences and ideas. We all need support because parenting is really one of the harderst and most noble undertakings there is, and single parenting is even more challenging. The more you talk to us the better you will feel.
It is easy to feel guilty no matter what the situation but you should always remember what a good mother you are, being on this site is proof of this. We all do our best, and your child is very lucky to have a mother who is so loving and concerned. All the best to you and your child.
Premi
2002-08-09
#11
Name: nicemom Subject: you are not alone
hi rashmi,
i can very well understand how you feel. i am a mom too and many a times we are so bottled up with our tensions that we don't give the quality attention to our kids. but don't feel guilty about it. instead, after you return from work and when you go to the bathroom for your shower, close your eyes and try removing all thoughts of office and other problems, b'coz now you have to know that your role in the house has changed to a mother. what i do many a times is, take a deep breath and say to myself that my baby is innocent and bubbling with ethussiasm. she doesn't know whether mom has had a tough day at work or not. i take a deep breath, rub off my tears and start off. seeing her smile makes me better and this is a real reward for me. i do get irritated sometimes, but then we have to keep in mind that we are humans not super humans. SO DON'T FEEL GUILTY. i tend to pamper her more b'coz of this. tho' i'm not a single parent but i still face the same things.
about how to tell her about the seperation...it depend how your relationship with your daughter is. tell her that many a times two people can't adjust with eachothers thoughts , deeds, feelings. so, instead of fighting with eachother, its better we both move away, so that no one fights. explain that tiffs and fights are not good for anybody. so in order for mommy and daddy to live happily, they needed to go apart. keep telling her that mommy loves her a lot and she is very very imp. to you. also tell her that dad loves her too. so that she feels secure. its just that the 2 adults were not happy. let her know that she is the most imp. thing to both of you'll.
its imp to make her understand that if she does some mistakes, mommy won't leave her b'coz she is mad at her. mommy always forgives and loves her child. im that way, she doesn't get the picture that fights always means drifting apart.
does your hubby keep in touch with your daughter? make up the story according to your situation.
again, rashmi, let me tell you, don't feel guilty. there are times in our lives , we sit back and feel , did i do right. but keep strong and fight life. life is beautiful. glod bless you and love to your children.
keep writing
2002-08-07
#12
Name: Nina Subject: I'm Happy
Hello Rashmi,
I'm not a single mother, but I am a Mother and I would love to share stories, listen, just be there as a friend to you and all others that come here.
Being a Mother is a big job, it's not easy at all. Being single; I'm sure is tough too.
I am a Mommy of a soon to be 5 year old and a 5/soon to be 6 month old; both girls.
Take care;
Hope to hear from you,
Nina
2002-08-09
#13
Name: rashmi Subject: Thanks
Hi Nina And Nicemom
Thanks for replying. I was wondering how do I explain to my little girl as she grows older why her Mommy and Daddy are not together. Sometimes I come back dog tired from work and an over whelming deppression takes over me and I cannot be a good mom to her. This hurts me and makes me feel selfish and guilty all the time.
Any advice
Rashmi
2002-08-01
#14
Name: nicemom Subject: count me in
hi cheerful (rashmi),
i am not a single parent but i can very well empathise with any one of you'll. please count me in for any thoughts, feelings, vent-outs, discussions.
do you need to talk, rashmi?
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& Answers to Topic : Single Parenting
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This is a part of my course ,
The benefit you will get out of this is you will get to know your childs attachment style and it will be helpful to get my degree ....
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