Relationships  Discussion Forum

i had a love marriage against my in laws wishes..
we had to start from scratch .my parents helped me financially for initial set up. then i started working too and drew a good sal. my husband is very attached to the famly and we visit them twice or thrice in a yr.whenever we visit them we r ex[pected to carry lavish gifts for relatives as per my MIL. she says coz we have made them angry by marrying intercaste..we shud be doing this to appease them. we spend thousands in taveling and then gifting too(with no positive remarks)
they even came to our place and saw that we maintain a good social status, we have to pay many loans for car,house too.tehy then wanted my husband to send money to them to support other two children(both of them are working in govt posts ). it was ok AS I EARNED A LOT.
now i dont have a job as i quit when i learnt i was pregnant. with loans and social circle we end up saving very less and still we have to send money to my inlaws.
talking it out wid my husband is not helping...he tells me that he cant leave his sister's education and marriage in midway
watever money we havd kept aside for baby is also going away in that girls marriage.along with all the jewellery i was given as gifts frm anyone frm there end
i m worried abt my child's future..with no saving left to support it SONYA replied. Dear Shonali,

Why is your husband, still sending money
when he knows that: you two don't have
that much money, anymore??

come-on.....this is his child, too.

Why is it, that a grown women...that is
about to get married...still need the
money? and why is it that his baby have
to be stuck in this mess?

Be a loud mouth....who cares. Maybe, he
need a slap or two on the face to wake
up. This is a big issue....Please don't
send anymore money.

Have a three-way call.....Your MIL, you,
and your husband on the line.....and
just have a long talk. Do not hang up
until everything is resolve. Explain
to her that.....Hubby and you need a
break(financially)...you can only send
this much and so on..

Have you considered going back to work?
or is it too hard? Maybe this is the
only way for you to save for your
child education.(since hubby is wasting
money)

Best of luck-Bye saheli replied. aarrrrgghh ..
disgusting ... not again!
another \" same\" problem!

kab tak bardasht karenge yaar!!

shonali ... i question you! Why did u leave the job? arey yaar .. with people like these, it is v imp to stand on ur feet.
To break age old problems, i think we need to break age old dependencies first.
If we are not dependent on them ... if we are not bind by the emotional weaknesses of hubby and children ... and simply REFUSE to hubby and inlaws ... kya kar lenge ye log!

Do we ever ask our hubbies to share money for our sister's marriage?
Can we think to ask?
huh
(m really furious today)

When my mom used to visit my place, i used to spend lavishly on her. She dint hv sons, stayed alone and had brought up her daughters with hardships.

My MIL used to frown seeing the expenditure ... and when my hubby wd say \" mummy is upset because of so and so\" ... i wd give straightforawd reply ...
\" This is my money, and she is my mother. If u can spend on your mother, so can i. If she doesnt like it, tell her to talk to me and i will give her direct options. Period.\"

i really feel that ... we shd stand on our feet, and agree to have kids only after setting on some terms regarding inlaws.
Warna .. no bachche .. no dependencies.

Hubbies also needs family. How long will these people survive without wives!
----------------------

Nothing. I have no suggestions. Was just furious to see one more DIL caught in same old stupid problem so was furious.

Sorry.