Relationships  Discussion Forum

Hi,

Ours is a arranged marriage and Since I am married my husband always behaves like I am not good looking but He enjoys sex with me and Buys gifts for me. Whole through my life most of the people say I look pretty. I never thought I will get a husband who always say I don’t look good. .

I feel even if I don’t look good for the whole world I don’t care but I get hurt if my husband says I don’t look good. I don’t mind If he does not praise my but why should he should not hurt my feelings by saying Or comparing with ugly people.

We always quarrel often for the same reason and he says sorry each time
I am fed up with this relation and want to get a divorce or separation from him
Which he does not want to happen. The main reason I want to get divorce or
Separation is that I don’t feel like having sex wih the person who always hurts my
Feelings.

The question I have is am I reacting too much for this silly thing or every one
In my position would feel the same way. Please reply back with your advise.


saheli replied. Or ... another possibility....may be the definition of beauty is different for ur hubby.

take my case - I feel people with good features as beautiful ... even if dark. For my hubby, the female has to be fair first, and finds fair females with any features beautiful.

way u carry urself also matters. Example: i hv good long black hair ... my hubby finds the corporate westers clothed women with boycut or blunt cut as smart ladies!

(btw, ours is a love marriage ;-)
anyways

When u 2 are in good mood and calm, just tell him with love that it hurts u, so he shd not say it.

Secondly, Dont b bothered too much if he says u r not pretty.
See dear, this is all maya. Love is the imp thing. Even if he says u r pretty, wd u remain prety after some years? beauty will fade, love and trust will prevail.

Lets say ... ignore him / chhod do/ use maaf kar do ... if u find him unchanged even after telling him.

Ppl say u r pretty right? Enjoy it!

good luck
saheli sangini replied. Hi anita,
I don't think u are over-reactuing because u have been hurt not once but many a times by your partner i can understand being u wife all the women want to be loved and feel pretty its very pitty on his part to make u feel this way and then say sorry....
I feel he is trying to hide some inferiority complex from you he feels some sort of complex... well this what some people do.
But for divorce its not that big issue,Yes but you can deny him sex,love and conversation and make him understand that u feel bad and is he vbery good looking, may be he is too proud tell him talk to him if you feel you are so goodlooking and could get a lady of your type then why do you marry me as him tell him if this is his attitude you will have to take some hard steps..
SONYA replied. Dear Amita,

If that is the reason why you want to get
a divorce from your husband......Then,
\" yes\" -I think it is silly!

Please, don't get a divorce just because
of that, okay?

Maybe, he was just joking??--Because you
did mention that he always apologize.

N-E-Way, what ever the reason....It can
be resolve, but it is not okay to get a
divorce.

Just think about your kids(if any)...or
finances(who is going to help pay the
mortgage?)