Relationships  Discussion Forum

I am 22 yr old.born and brought up in a very small town in UP(but studied in Pune).now married in Mumbai.I stay here in a joint family.inlaws are very conservative.but my husband is just the opposite.Its been only 2 months since marriage(arranged one).Yesterday night he asked me to have shower with him.As its a joint family i always feel very uncomfortable(we have attached bathrooms).i just refused and when he came back he was like mom dad spoilt my life by making me marry u.u small town girls are just garbage.ettc.i try my best to make him happy but nth is working.i wear whatever he wants do whatever he says but everytime he says i am from small town.i also like to be with him..but then i cant be that bold.do u feel i need to change?if yes how ? SONYA replied. Please............He needs to learn how
to control his temper!

Just because you don't want to shower
with him---he is saying this to you?
What kind of husband, not even 1 year
of marriage, can even put down his wife?

anyways.........some of Rashmi replies
are true. He was angry at you....for
turning him down.

About you changing....don't force
yourself to change. Everyone Change...
that's just how we are. It seem to me
that you are already doing the best that
you can. It is your husband, who should
change his attitude.

I can tell you are a good, innocent
person......keep doing what you are
doing.

sangini replied. Its very normal for your husband to expect this from u but u can just tell him that u are abit embarassed, you would show your excitement and can share your hesitation also but at the same time if he says its ok then you can agree and go a head with it, you know i will tell we have to change a little in marriage and you are on a very early stage so he wants to explore enjoy with him, you know sometimes due to these reasons intially in the marriage can lead to lot of confusion so try to cooperative and after a time when this exploring time is over and u have got him completely than that mutual understanding time will start so be careful and be open if he says its ok then u can enjoy this time and u can suggest sometimes that u can go on a honeymoon or a vaction until then enjoy....
Men tend to get frustrated soon when turn down for sex and specailly he belongs to mumbai so please change that would be better but don't agree with stupid things...keep self repect Rashmi replied. Tell him...the truth...that u don't have a problem with anything like that but u feel awkard when u'r in-laws r next door. U r embaressed....if he wants to do all that..lets go rent a room somewhere or go out of town for a belated honemoon or a weekend trip and i will take a shower with u!!!!!
Instead of saying no...give him options. I'm sure he doesn't mean what he is saying..it's just he might be frustrated.
And frankly next time he says it say it has nothing to do with being from small town or big.it's just a matter of comfort level.
All the best