Relationships  Discussion Forum

My marriage is breaking. Actually it is a love-come-arranged marriage with a so called best friend. But love is evaporated immediately after marriage. Now it has converted to more into hate marriage. Now we don’t leave a single opportunity to hurt each other’s feeling. There is no respect and appreciation for each other. As I have never found love and appreciation in my whole life not even from my parents. Sometimes I feel like taking my own life. But we have a daughter (3 yrs old, so can't take this step.
I feel very alone.
What can I do?
Pl help. Nihon replied. I think you need to view the happenings in your life more with a cool head instead of reacting emotionally. While you may be thinking that he is the casue for it, please also see how much you are contributing to it. In a marriage some adjustments are necessary from both of you. Before marriage you guys are madly in luv and might have shown the best side of your personality and after marriage with more proximity the other side of the personality is also more visible. This is the time when you are awakened to the reality.
Both of you better sit down and think calmly why you are drifting. You can talk to him and tell him what part of his behavior you dont like and similarly ask him tell you what is bothering him. Such an open talk may clear off your misunderstandings.
You should also go with a positive attitude of saving the marriage instead of feeling it is breaking. Supposing even after your best efforts , the conditions does not improve then u can think of the other alternative.
One thing you should remember nothing is perfect in this world. Even if you get a new partner, you will definitely find something which u dislike in him.

One more thing you said that you did not get luv and appreciation from your parents also. I wuld like to knw why do u feel so ?

Good Luck
SONYA replied. Hi,
I can only imagine how you are feeling
right now. My gosh! this so-called
Husband of yours is a real jerk.

The worst thing for you to do is keep
your feelings bottled up!--so, I am glad
that you finally have a chance to release
some of this anger.

Manju, If I were you: I will have to
start looking for some type of support.
Such as, a very very good friend, or at
a conseling center. Find one that
is near your home.

listening to your post: (I hope that I
am wrong) it can lead to physical abuse
towards you. That's why it is important
to have a friend or group that supports
you..one that are willing to take you
in when you have no place to go.

also....make sure you have some cash
saved up somewhere. Hubby can not know
about this hidden money. Manju, I know
it can be hard to save money...if hubby
is the only one working, but at least
this will get you thru some tough times
if you and him separate. Maya replied. Sorry to hear your plight but without knowing the details we can not suggest in details. I want to know
-Whether you are working or not
-Does anyone of you is having EMA
-What exactly went wrong?
-Who is earning more?
-Any problem from In laws side
You should not think of ending your life as you have responsibility of your child on your shoulders. Be strong and just pray to God that everything falls into places .
Regards
Maya
Tony S replied. Dear Manju,
It is sad that u r feeling this way - but trust me this is a passing phase and your marriage wont just break up like that. Firstly u need to correct things that might have gone wrong slowly one by one and the woman has to put in 99% efforts i am saying from my experience. the remaining 0.5 % is from my husband and the last 0.5 % is from God (God is also a man :). Pl. write more details so that i can suggest u something it is v. difficlut to just imagine and write. but dont lose heart and ever try to take your life - that is the worst crime. muster up courage. God will surely help.