Relationships  Discussion Forum

My problem is related to me only .I have 2 kids aged 4-1/2 and 3-1/2 years.I have taken their care as much as i could in last 3-4 yers.NOw they have grown up as bright and intelligent kids . I am also happy to see that .Elder one goes to nursery and second one also goes to play school
my problem is that since last 1 month i am not taking care of my kids properly .I mean i am not putting as much efforts as i used to . I have become quite careless towards their studies and all other things related to them .I love them a lot but i dont know why i have lost motivation for them.Not only for them but for household activities also . i dont know what do i need from life.
i dont have any other work besides taking care of my kids.As i analysed my behaviour , i found that i am frustrated from myself. I wanna go out and enjoy a working life, which is not possible under my circumstances. I know i am lucky to take care of my kids by myself but why i have become lazy and careless.In that way there is no use of staying at home
My both kids are very happy with each other all the time and talk with each other, play with each other being of almost same age . I feel left out in addition to that i also dont want to play with them all day .
I feel tired and suffocated in same surroundings. I have lost interest in life. Initially i thought its a matter of time phase but its taking too long.
I do live with hubby and kids . No problems with hubby also. He remains busy with his work but takes time also to play with kids. A good and caring father.
What shd i do to change my situation . i have tried reading , computers and changing ambience of house , shopping , mixing with friends, interacting with family all but no interest.
need suggestions .... anjali replied. Ritu,
what you are thinking is perfectly allrite.sometimes in our life we all feel that way.it seems everybody around usis so happy and it's me who is good for nothing.It's ok if you are not working.workin women also get bored.you are taking care of your kids,its a gr8 job.if you stay awayfrom them for atlest 1or 2 day you wiil see how helpless they are without you.they need you.keep yourself busyin something that very simple,easy.you can go to some oldage home to meet those old people who need company.make some dish for them or give cloths(spe.. day,like b'dyof kids)anythng you like,join jim,yoga class ,go to b'parlour pamper yourself.and also continue whateveryou are doing nowadays.All the best. No Name replied. I can understand what you are talking of !!
I think many women including me face this these days ..Have you ever wondered why our mothers or granny never got bored in life ?? Why do we get bored so easily .. I too chant \" I am bored... I am bored \" too often at home even though I am working !

Life was much different earlier .. Our parents could buy a home or other comforts of life only when reached Mid Life. Our Mothers struggled in huge joint family .. FAmily politics itself kept them both busy and occupied. Many didnt have maids ...With Relatives constantly visiting them , they had no time to even find out if they are bored or not !!!
Raising children ..their Education itself was a challenge.

Now our basic needs of Life : Food/shelter and clothes are too easily met. Many live in nuclear family so not much family politics as it used to be ...Maids are avl to help us out ..Kids go to good schools ..They grow up and no longer need us full time. Many of us have travelled enough .
At that point in life you start developing an \" emtiness \" in life. You have nothing to look fwd .. No real challenges .. thats when we start asking ourselves \" What do I want from life \"

Men seek challenges in work and keep themselves motivated. Many working women too do it.
When Monotony creeps in everything around you start to get boring .. You lose interest in things you did earlier ..

What Can you do ??
1) Keep urself motivated ..How ?? Take up some activity daily which you like & which will keep ur spirits high Eg : Join a Gym or Walk or Dance or pottery .. anything
You said you tried Reading .. Thats the right approach but what kind of books do u read ??
Dont start with spiritual or philosophical ones .. You cannot stick to reading for too long.
Read Novels .. Murder mystery ..Humour etc that will want you to come back to reading whenever you find free time !
2) Try something new and innovative .. Lets say Diwali .. Why not try painting and decorating diyas on ur own instead of buying from shop .
3) Take a break and pamper urself .. You are getting burnt with the routine ..Find time for urself and do things you did when you were in college .. Have you ever tried watching movie all alone .. No right ?? Try it out ..See alone ..Eat alone .. that will give you some space and help you settle down ur emotions !!
4) Get real friends .. the ones where you can visit and call whenever you want .(I know this is difficult in big cities )
5) If there is any possibility of getting a job .. Go for it !!!
6) If dont feel like doing household chores .. Dont do it for few days . Take a break or else you might develop aversion towards it .