Relationships  Discussion Forum

Eight months bfor I came to US. I have nt yet taken my driving licence. Now my hubby is out of station for 2 weeks. and my son started schooling today.

I can say I have no problem in my life .

I am very enthusiastic person and whereever I go I used to gte lots of friends. I can say I am a nice person like doing so many things to friends /(like sharng my food daily if anyone of my friend is pregnant, on festivals sharing prasad to some of my friends etc , having cup of T with somone at home, sharing my sons toys with others, wishing & giving small small gifts to their bdays , planning out for atleast having cup of icecream etc). If somebody says I didnt cook any curry for lunch then I'll call them for lunch and share &have)
Today a incident with one of my friends made me feel bad. that is as my hubby is out of station I need to send my son to school on my own ( I dont know driving ) so V ( Myself and hubby) planned to call for a cab .
A close friend of mine XX (she knows driving) asked last week How I am going to manage? I said her that I need to plan. Then she started advising me that Y cant u ask the other person YYY( she is not my close friend and just met in 2 parties ) I said \"; NOw I dont want to go & take her help as she is not close and dont feel like asking also \"; she replied if U want any things to be done then u shld ask her. I didnt reply anythng.

MY other friend zzz's hubby dropped ( Thou I didnt asked this person she herself asked and helped me for dropping while coming I came by a cab )
Today evening My CLose friend XX called up and asked how did I manage ? I said the story. She was sking so many Qs,
1. Y cant u ask the YYY person ? and Did u see her there or not? U shldnt be this shy enough to get help from them , U wld have asked her & u shld ask , anyway she is not coming there for ur son. etc.
I just replied \"; I never used to get any help from anyone so I dont want to ask \"; u r so close with me but also I didnt ask from u then how ocome I'll ask with her. But she never leaving me :-( and nicely told her that \"; I'll take care u dont worry \";

My Q is ,
Y this girl is adcising me like this ...
Is she so selfish on this or really wants to help me ?
If she wants she wld have helped me ( distance is also very very less .83 miles and 3 mins drive . Its walkable dist due to the cold weather v need a car)

I feel like I am disturbed thou ddint ask any help from her.

Is she my real friend ? How to handle this type of ppl ? di bh replied. hey you will find such people everywhere and people here also do such things. The lady cleared wanted you to get insulted. so she pestered u to ask a person whom you dont know too well.You are a smart woman. You did the right thing.I have been in your situation. I had a neighbour when i moved to US newly.She was very annoying pestering me to go back to india and leave my husband here alone when he lost his job. She is a home wrecker. when i didnt heed she used to openly abuse me. i didnt say anything then as we were in same apartment complex and she is a loud mouth.But when my husband found a job i didnt give her my forwarding address and telephone number and she keeps pestering my friend to give her my contact details.even my friend has been insulted by her.So she herself doesnt give her.but she wont let up after lots of asking still if a person doesnt tell u u will obviously know she is not interested in being contacted. But not her she will not leave a chance to abuse anybody .Maybe she is a very insecure lady.
The point is you have to draw the line somewhere .if the lady continues the same with you please do retort. I regret not giving back to her .But for such people that too wont make any difference their main aim is to irritate others.
Next time she says anything tell her you will not do so.If u tell it 10 times when she says 10 suggestions She shud get a clue.best of luck. LILLY replied. hi,
i am in US for last 5 yrs.i recently started driving.trust me nobody in america likes to take responsibilty of anybody.its not about your friend or friendship.even i went through the same phrase for 4 yrs but finally i started drving.indian who stays in US thinks its burden to help their own people.cause they have to adjust the timimg,use the gas,and they don,t want it to be a habit.the best thing to do is start driving as soon as possible.ALL THE BEST. sowmya replied. dear manga,
as i read ur story i can see ur XX friend is a very selfish girl she's not ur true friend.from now onwards keep a distance & a very formal relationship with her.when she herself knows driving,instead of calling u up so many times asking how u managed,she herself could have dropped u.u said its just a 3 min drive.even then being so close to u she didnt help u.moreover she was making fun of u & taking advantage of ur ituation by asking u to ask help from ur YY friend.she clearly knew that u cant ask YY for help as she is not close to u.but intentionally she was pestering u to ask her so that u feel embarassed abt the situation & be in YY's obligation.this XX friend of urs is just showing off herself,boasting that she's a smart girl,knows how to drive etc.she's not doing any help to u.if she call up again & tell the same thing,tell her that u can easily manage & she need not have to bother about it.just keep a distance from her from now on.she's not ur true friend.hope this helps u.take care