Relationships  Discussion Forum

Hi,
here's my problem and I don't know where to begin. My mom died when I was very small. Dad never took care of me and I was raised by my mausi (mom's sister). My mausi has two kids. And I was not at all attached to them. They always made me feel like an outsider in the family and that they were doing some kind of obligation to me. Although my mausi had been fine towards me but obviously since I was not her daughter I was always treated differently. Anyway, I got married two years back according to my wish. Nobody supported me but eventually my mausi and mausa had to give in. They said they are ready for this marriage as I am not their daughter (that's why they can't force anything on me). There were tons of problems with my inlaws and my side of the family (mausi-mausa). Last year my hubby and I moved to US, god knows why my inlaws had been mistreating me since the time we moved here. They think their son is working so hard and I am enjoying life here. They also have issues with my mausi-mausa, stating they are not treated well by them. I am so frustrated since my mausi mausa are not my parents how can i expect them to do things for me now. Its not that I got married according to their wish.

Secondly these days my mausi is putting pressure on me to call one of her son to US (sponsor for him). But this cousin of mine is of no good. He had always created problems for me when I was staying with them. Not only this he doesn't have good education also. But my mausi-mausa feel since they did so much for me its my duty to take care of their son. Also that US is a land of opportunities I should find a suitable job for him. I am so confused with my inlaws attitude and also about my mausi too. Friends please tell me what can be done, I am very frustrated and sad! thank you. shilpi replied. Thank you sowmya and shanthi for your kind advice.I know I should talk sweetly with these people but they are just driving me crazy. I hope there could be some solution. Most people have problems at inlaws side only, in my case there's no peace. Before marriage and after marriage its the same kich kich. sowmya replied. dear shilpi,
i totally agree with shanthi.do exactly as told by her.say yes to everything they say ,but u need not have to do anything for them.i'm also exactly in ur position.i also lost my mom at the age of 4.my relatives( my dad's sisters)also expect so many things from me know.they havent even done any help to me,but still they claim so many things.they also keep asking me to sponser visa for them.whatever favours they might have done to u in ur childhood,u need not have to be under their obligation.as elders it was their duty. dont think of doing all these things to them. by doing so u may spoil ur relation with ur hubby also.so just take care of urself & urfamily.just diplamatically handle these people.cheer up & enjoy life with ur hubby.now its ur turn to have fun in life Shanthi replied. Hi Shilpi,
It is difficult to grow up without mother, specialy a girl.I would suggest ignore MIL problem.it is very common.Just talk with them nicely.since you are living here it doesn't matter, how they behave.
And sponsering visa to your cousin..act like you are interested in sponserring him a visa, but you don't have to do anything.tell them to send his resume & when you receive it, just trash it.tell them you contacted so many recruiting companys.but really you don't have too.keeping nice relation with everyone is very important.so talk nicely with them.