Relationships  Discussion Forum

hi ,
ihave crossed my thirty ,& still not married . most of friends @ are married and have babies too. i feel very out of place with them .
i was in relation many years ago and was cheated in it . this has left a deep impact on my mind , and i had decided i wudn't go into a relation.since then i saw a lot of relation , including my parents and really wondered whether its wroth going into a relation. my father wud insult my mom in front of guests & mom always took in stride . i never wanted to have a husband like this . all this always kept me away from marraige .
but know , i feel the lack of a campanion to share . i am very inthusatic and always eager to do new things .now when i decided to get married , no good proposals have come across.b'coz of my age ,everybody tells me i will have to compromise on many things if i want to get married.
i really dnt know what to do .... feel very very dpressed .
abc replied. Hi SS,

I met and married when I was thirty! So cheer up..life has unexpected twists and turns and you never know when you might meet your life partner.

You can try advertising thru Shaadi (dot)com, indiamatrimonials (dot)com etc. Place an ad plus reply to the ones whose profiles you like. If the guy is in the same city, you can meet him several times before you take a decision.

Abt the bad relationships you have seen in the past including yr parents - I would not focus too much on it.

There are good guys as well as bad guys out there. Just because your dad was a bad husband doesnt mean all the men in the world are going to turn out like him. So keep an open mind. Don't let preconceptions prejudice you when meeting new people.

About compromising - Do not compromise about things that are important to you say honesty, integrity, even temper etc. But about things like wanting a guy to be very rich or very handsome - yeah, you might need to tone down your expectations over there. Think about what is really, really important to you and then decide on that basis. Because looks will fade away, money can go away but a caring heart and an intelligent mind will always remain with you.

All the best in your search!!

take care...

Shanthi replied. I know how it feels ..i am in same situation married, but no child yet & i am 33.paasing age makes worry more.but hey..you are just thirty..it is not that old.since you are suffered by one relation already, i want to suggest you that, find a guy with good qualitys, i mean soft spoken, no bad habits..it is true we have to compromise on certain things like look,or little older, average earnig..please don't feel bad for me giving advice about compromise.in my life experience i am telling you, it is hard to find a guy with all good qualitys,whom we get satisfy by all the qualitys.but your heart doesn't accept certain things, than don't do it.try putting ads in newspapers, internet, involve your elders in making decision.