Relationships  Discussion Forum

Hi All,

Iam married for 4 years. I had one baby and iam expecting my second one. Our marriage is a arranged one and it is arranged by us[both me n my husband]. But its not a love marriage. we both came to know each other through our common friend. Finally we decided to marry after few mails. Our parents also accepted and we married happily. I
came to USA after my marriage along with him. we both came from middle class family.

I have big problem with my husband...i have no one here to share and i cannot share with my parents...please help me.

I loved him whole heartedly...but i don't know whether he loves me or not. The problem with him is he is ok in all other things except bossisam and high pitch of anger. But whenever he gets angry he abuses me mentally & physically. During intial days of my marriage iam so shocked with this behaviour. After that i came to know[through my sils] that every body in his family are very angry ones.so now whenever he gets angry i keep my mouth shut and weird thing is i don't know when he gets angry.. He knows that he is the one who raise fights. But i have to say sorry after few days. Its routine in my life. Some times iam losing all my confidence because of his behaviour. I told him so many times..whatever you want to say ..say softly..it's not good to shout on other human being like that...He always humiliates me.

Soon after my first baby..i realised i can't change this person's attidude so i want to be independent..otherwise i have no choice in my life.. So started studying..i left my baby in INDIA.I gave my GRE & TOEFL. presently iam doing my MS and going to finish in one year.

My questions here is?
1)is there any one in this situation[I don't want any one to be in this situation]. If so how did u tackeld this problem?
2) why indian guys[iam not saying all] think and treat their wives so low..?

I still love him i want to work out this marriage.

Please pour your advice.
xyz di bh replied. Hey I was in same situation until this year start. I am married for 4 yrs . Same like you arranged marriage.I didnt know my husband before the engagement. My marriage was in a hurry as he wanted to get married in 15 days and go with his wife to US.I didnt know much about his family.his brother is abusive kind .came to know after my husband was abusive both physically and emotionally.In the start of this year i had it and i took some action.After that he has realized and doesnt do it anymore.
You can always call 911 when the situation is too much to bear. Here that is a blessing .My in laws are all abusive in nature but act like they are the most humblest of people and they got a bad DIL.trust me 911 is the ultimate resort.my in laws also tell oh he is physically abusive becoz u provoke him. But they also know the truth.try to calmly tell your husband u dont like it. If he still does it tell him u will take legal action. If it doesnt still work then do so.
I know your situation as i have been there. I live in Ohio where do u live. please post about your thoughts.Best of luck. Take care someone replied. xyz : Abuse in a marriage is a strict NO. That too being in US?

If you know to drive and can speak some english and also have access to some money, please do get in touch with police or a lawyer.

Or wait to finish your MS, get a job and then quit this medieval guy!