Relationships  Discussion Forum

HI everyone,
u all r so sweet to give advice and the same are heart soothing tooo... pl advice to my problem also.
i am married to a wonderful man(romantic, caring, charming very very sweet) for 3 years and till date i have not conceived. Thats all coz of my dear hubby he does not want to have kids. i tried talking to him couple of times but he gets irritated if i start that topic. All my relatives have also failed to convince him. i love kids and want to be a mother and enjoy motherhood y am i being deprived from this. For all the things my hubby is fine except for this subject.

He loves others kids(his friends) and plays with them then y does he not want his own???????

he uses condoms i cant cheat him also. i am getting depressed day by day. whenever i see any small baby i start crying. pl pl advice what should i be doing....? Ravi replied. Dear Gaya,

I can quite understand the feelings and
emotions you are going through right now.

I wish to speak to you in person through
phone or by e-mail to share a few thoughts.

Pl let me know your contact No. or
e-mail id as soon as possible.

Best regards...A well wisher Priti replied. Hello,

From reading your message, it seems like you are anxious to have a baby. but on the other hand as a family (you and your husband) are not ready. You and your husband need to be on the same frequency about this. Maybe he's just not ready for a baby yet. I know you have been married for 3 years, but what are your future plans? maybe your husband wants to have a few things done before bringing a baby into the family, career or otherwise.
So...
1. connect with your husband, see what his plans are. discuss how you'd like your future to be as a whole, not just babywise.
2.if you see that your husband clearly has no plans for a baby ever, then you need to have a open discussion about what you and he wants. If you two can't have this conversation without him getting angry, seek help from a family therapist. you have to figure out what would be the best way for you to discuss this without annoying him.
3. do not ever even think about cheating him. you need to make the plans and decision together.

like anu said...friends, family, are all good suggestions. since he's not confortable talking about this topic, first figure out what's going on in his mind.

all the best. anu replied. Have you ever asked him why doesnt he want to have? You have not mentioned anything about his feelings.

If there is some phobia/fear/any other reason in his mind then you try to resolve that first.

If you think asking him will irritate him, try it thru someone else (trustworthy family friends/couple etc).

Once you know the reason, try to address it the right way. Dont just go and question him, it will irritate him more.

If u think u cant do it, you can do so thru a family consultant too.

Meanwhile, u cn stop talking to him on this topic. Try get neigbor's kids in house for a while. When he sees how fun it is playing with kids, it may give rise to feelings in his heart.

Ask your trustworthy family friends to praise how good it is to be with kids when u all are together ... invite them for something and plan this. Its a Festival season so inviting may not be difficult.

Be careful not to hurt hubby. If he know u hv been planning behind him, he will be really angry.

all the best
anu