Relationships  Discussion Forum

Friends,
I am so depressed and need your help. I had been going through this forum and I feel you all are so kind to each other and your suggestions are so helpful in so many regards for the person who posts their problems here. My problem is my inlaws too. Whom I used to respect and love from my heart. Mine is a love marriage and had a lot of problems initially. After marriage as a new bride I tried to be in good books of all the relatives. I would tolerate all the cruel remarks of all and never answered back. Gradually everyone started taking me for granted. they would say anything to me without even thinking how it would affect me. Now last year my mil visited me and as usual her dominating nature and horrible behavior would get into my nerves. I tried tolerating her to my best and I had also told myself that I will try to be under control. But once she said something nasty and that triggered me so bad that my mind stopped working and that was it. My mil made a huge issue out of it for no reason (inspite of her fault). Now that she is not with me. Still I get nightmares about her. I dont' know what rumors she has spread about me among relatives but most of my husband's side relatives ve started ignoring me. Sometimes I feel i should confront her and ask her that whether it was my fault or hers. but everything seems so weird because that lady is just insane, no matter how hard i will try I can never win in front of her. And she says that out loudly infront of me that \";no one can beat her!\";
Should i confront her or just leave the matter as it is. Please help. anu replied. dont confront to your MIL.
MILs are also not worth discussing matters. They only see the bad side.

If u jump into river to save such a person if she is drowning, she will say u did that to make sure she drowns!

and she will take advantage to make it another big issue.

anu again! anu replied. my MIL is also similar

One thing i hv learnt - your ownrelatives (your side) - your bros and sisters are the only ones who will help you immidiately when u r in need. No matter how good u r to relatives on hubby's side, very few you will find mature enough to think beyond relations and be real relative.

I dont bother which relative thinks what about me. I identified 2-3 truly good people from hubby's relatives (different families) and i have really tried hard maintaining good relations with them. They are also good people and realised that what MIL says about me is not true.

They are - one elderly uncle, one bhabhi (my age) and one aunty -all from diff families

Now if my MIL spreads about me to any relatives ... you know relatives gossip ... and when anyone says that to those uncle/aunty/bhabhi, they say its not true!

Well, though it wasnt my intention, but it has helped me.

And anyway, such people are really worth maintaining relations with. Others who believe talks, are not worth. Dont even bother what they think abt u.

And however busy u r, keep with people from mother's side. Blood relations come back to u. Always.

Dont worry. To hell with others. Enjoy.

anu Sonu replied. Hi
u should not have controlled urself for so long now they may be expecting u to be very polite all the time and tolerate all their tantrums. Be bold and u have done the right thing. u need to be selfish somewhere. U should always do ur duties without thinking of others. luhi replied. you should definitely confront her. even we have some status in the society all the best to you.