Relationships  Discussion Forum

Hi There & everyone who replied
U are right there is just no point in living like this. He doesnt even let me talk to my parents and yes they will support me. As I am the eldest and my younger sis still has to get married this step of leaving him comes in the way. regarding finacial issues, i f i were to leave him i wont reside in canada I will go back to delhi and stay with mom and dad till I find a good job and then move out of there house. Coz living here alone will be impossible with daycare and rent etc.
regarding him, he belongs to a lower middle class family and i was forced marriage to him as I had to divorce from my first marriage because tht many after marriage came out he is Gay. So my parents were in a shock after my first marriage in whom to trust somy cousins fatherinlaw told us abt him. He thinks tht he has done something so great by marrying a divorcee tht my family shld touch his feet. I di tell him tht I had no sexual relations with my first husband and I am still a virgin but still he taunts me tht I have slept wiht my ex. THe wants my parents to treat him and his mom and dad like kings and a spl treatment to them coz they mrried me.
He never treats me like a man shld treat his wife. He wants me to obey all his commands like I am a dumb servant and If I argue or objects to his wrong say or action i am a whore then and then my family is sweared upon so badly only i know hiwi hear all those words. it is like drinking poison and keeping it to u.
He has made mylife 1 living hell. He treats me like I have no self respect and I shld say bad words to my parents for marrying me to a gay men and ruining my life. Although he was gay but he and his familly treated me with love and care sometimes I feel i shldnt have divorced from him and not come to this hell.
I am so depressed and i cant focus on things. I dont want to do anything for him
I just want to runaway far from him where he cant reach me.
My aunt told me to see if things can go normal with him for fw mths as kids do need a father and it is hard sometimes for a woman and a kid w.o a father.
I just want to know abt all the other single moms who are raising there kid and earning too. Please advise shld I move to India or stay here in canada or stay with him.
Thanks for ur response it gives me strentgh

NN Sudhir replied. I am a marriage counseller.
Let me share my view points.
1) Please jot down your reasons of unhappyness.
2) Now consider each reason as symptom of something.
3) Find the root cause.
4) Check if peacefull discussionObjective of the discussion is to share/lay down your expectations from Him.
5) Check if this works out.
If multiple attempts also dosent work
6) Than I believe that seperation sometimes is fruitful than bieng in to troubled relationship.
For further detailed methodology email me in detail at reachbeyondrediffmailcom nee replied. Dear NN,

While reading ur story i can imagine wat ur going through bcoz i have recently divorced with a kid and was in a whirlpool like u before doing it actually. I suggest, its better to die one day and kill all ur emotions at once rather than dying every moment.
u cannot change someone' s thinking. There is no point blaming to anybody, ACCEPT ur destiny.
AS far as kids are concerned kids will understand everything by time.
I am now peacefull and aware of what to do ahead?
Just come ut of this unhappy life and feel good. Come back to india and search for job and be focussed on ur kid. At any cost do not give custody of ur kid to ur abusive husband. Be happy at least god has given something of concern and something which gives u pleasure. I think husbands are not everything in life.
So do job, feel lighten, enjoy life. PS replied. From whatever you tell me, I think it will be best if you separate from him...

Kids do need a good parent..not an abusive father...they will see you getting beaten and abused by their dad and think it is normal..maybe in time they will stop respecting you too...

You already have enough emotional scars this man has given you... why prolong your agony...

Take care and All the best!!