HI friends
i want to get seperated from my hubby of 5 yrs. i have a 5mth old daughter. he is really abusive and beats me or hits me with objects.i am in canada, thus was an arrsnge marriage. ibelong to a very well reputed family based in north india.
i thot things wud chg as he will chg once he will be a dad but not a thing has chgd in him
i am ver worried and depressed.
n
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HI friends
i want to get seperated from my hubby of 5 yrs. i have a 5mth old daughter. he is really abusive and beats me or hits me with objects.i am in canada, thus was an arrsnge marriage. ibelong to a very well reputed family based in north india.
i thot things wud chg as he will chg once he will be a dad but not a thing has chgd in him
i am ver worried and depressed.
n
Arun replied. I' m living in USA right now, After going thru this i understand that so many females facing problems in different angle. Why all these things are happening. I wanted to help somebody but i really don' t know how? Because females they always take in a wrong way if any suggestion we give. Because they think gents always expect sex.I wil check this form after two days i will see if any comments there.
RM replied. same here!
I have six month old daugther, my husband also in canada and i am india now, he very abusive,hits me whatever he gets in hand...he talks vulgar abt my parents, at one point he told me he is not father for his baby(when baby was born just like my husband, he cried and asked me to forgive) he is saying that he gonna seperate me and baby stating that i am mentally unstable to take care of baby. He is not letting me to go to work, he wants me to take care of baby, even when baby is sick he thinks i am responsible and again starts his abusive nature, i am fed up, i am eldest in family, if i divorce my entire family will get effected, i want to run away from this person.
My 3year marriage life is like hell, i thgt may be after child birth he will change, he was ok for 4month, now started when i asked we should do some kind of saving for my daughters future.
Problem started...i don' t know how to deal with this person.
singleMother replied. Hi nn,
I can very well feel what all you are going through. My prayers are with you. May God give you the strength to decide and choose between right and wrong.
I have gone through the same phase, everyday thinking that he will change and life would be good, but that didn' t happen.
But I have no regrets in my life. I tried every possible thing to save my marriage but there is always an end to your efforts. Being in an abusive relationship not only affects you but is a trauma for your kids.
First of all think about yourself, do you still love him, is ther anything that you can do to make this marriage work. Do you yourself wants to continue with this marriage. Don' t think about kids or society or anything else. If the answer is no than decide to move out.
But before getting separated plan everything. Are u working, how would u take care of financial needs. If u r not working than you must get enough money from him for your needs. Is your family going to support you. Talk to them and explain everything in details.
This is tough phase of your life so be brave and face it with courage. Don' t get depressed or worried, we all face challenges in life but GOD is always there to help us.
Love and take care.
N replied. hi nn,
you should try women' s issue board. there you will find much support.Also try to explain your problem more clearly.
2007-06-20
#1
Name: Arun Subject: Hi, Friend
I' m living in USA right now, After going thru this i understand that so many females facing problems in different angle. Why all these things are happening. I wanted to help somebody but i really don' t know how? Because females they always take in a wrong way if any suggestion we give. Because they think gents always expect sex.I wil check this form after two days i will see if any comments there.
2007-07-03
#2
Name: SR Subject: single mother
Hi Arun,
If u genuinely want to help ,thn please advice me and give some moral support,i was a resident of virginia USA for abt 8yrs .My husband expired suddenly 2 months back,we have a 41/2 yr old boy,came to india but no family support here,we have a home there,so planning to return back,but again worried of loneliness and worried of my kids upbringing.Please advice.
2007-03-13
#3
Name: RM Subject: same here
same here!
I have six month old daugther, my husband also in canada and i am india now, he very abusive,hits me whatever he gets in hand...he talks vulgar abt my parents, at one point he told me he is not father for his baby(when baby was born just like my husband, he cried and asked me to forgive) he is saying that he gonna seperate me and baby stating that i am mentally unstable to take care of baby. He is not letting me to go to work, he wants me to take care of baby, even when baby is sick he thinks i am responsible and again starts his abusive nature, i am fed up, i am eldest in family, if i divorce my entire family will get effected, i want to run away from this person.
My 3year marriage life is like hell, i thgt may be after child birth he will change, he was ok for 4month, now started when i asked we should do some kind of saving for my daughters future.
Problem started...i don' t know how to deal with this person.
2007-03-12
#4
Name: singleMother Subject: Take care
Hi nn,
I can very well feel what all you are going through. My prayers are with you. May God give you the strength to decide and choose between right and wrong.
I have gone through the same phase, everyday thinking that he will change and life would be good, but that didn' t happen.
But I have no regrets in my life. I tried every possible thing to save my marriage but there is always an end to your efforts. Being in an abusive relationship not only affects you but is a trauma for your kids.
First of all think about yourself, do you still love him, is ther anything that you can do to make this marriage work. Do you yourself wants to continue with this marriage. Don' t think about kids or society or anything else. If the answer is no than decide to move out.
But before getting separated plan everything. Are u working, how would u take care of financial needs. If u r not working than you must get enough money from him for your needs. Is your family going to support you. Talk to them and explain everything in details.
This is tough phase of your life so be brave and face it with courage. Don' t get depressed or worried, we all face challenges in life but GOD is always there to help us.
Love and take care.
2007-03-12
#5
Name: N Subject: for nn
hi nn,
you should try women' s issue board. there you will find much support.Also try to explain your problem more clearly.
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No need to go anywhere else.
I am a PG psychology student doing my current research on child's attachment style of children with parent's those who got separated or those who got separated and reunited atleast once .
This is a part of my course ,
The benefit you will get out of this is you will get to know your childs attachment style and it will be helpful to get my degree ....
Tha... - Sowmiya [View Message]
RE:RE:Single mom -bangalore- lets meet
I am Male from Chandigarh if interested to meet let me know... - Sonu [View Message]
RE:Need Help: Explaining reason of divorce to my 5 ye
Dear Reshma,
I can understand what you are going through. This matter is very sensitive and should be handled carefully as it may affect your child's development. I feel that you must definitely take the help of a counselor. ... - Kanchi [View Message]
Hi, Friend
Name: SR
Take care
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