Relationships  Discussion Forum

Hi friends,
I am going through very unbeleivable phase.i accedentally saw divorce papers completely filled and the date shows around july.In aug,my husband took me for vacation trip to canada and we stay in U.S.the next week after back from trip,i saw this papers,along with some house plan(i dont know whether he is in process of buying a home)and some other his office work.when i confronted,he says there is nothing between us and said i should not see his personals.i never bother to see his personals-in 7yrs of marraige,i never know his pay check or he never tells any financial matters,but buys everything for house and sometimes gifts to me.i have a daughter and he loves her very much.he dont have any affairs,but very emotionally attached to his parents and sisters.i am educated and now have work permit and trying for IT job.i am not talking to him and just do my work and he is also busy,atmosphere is very calm and he behaves normal.what bugs me is how should i live with this kind of person?i dont understand him and i cant predict what my future would be...my friend suggested me that even if he says divorce,i should,nt give and drag for couple of yrs.once after my daughter born-we left to india and i had problems-i was there for 14months left-that time also he threatened me of giving divorce(and he is the person who took good care of me for my delivery),later i was back and things were going fine,but i dont talk to his family as they totally ignored me and my daughter,but i dont stop my husband to care them.he vsitedtwice his family later.even after 7yrs,i dont know what goes in my house.is anyone in my situation?personally i dont like to involve in financial matters,but i feel atleast few things like savings for child etc he should discuss with me.i always feel insecured and have urge to get into nice job.i have good parents support,beautiful daughter and i myself look charming and have many skills,but this husband-sometimes too loving and sometimes wants to get rid of me.this on and off life makes me feel sick.please give good suggestions. Friend replied. Can you try to seek help of any good,professional marriage counseller to help you see through what exactly is going on in your hubby's mind? First meet the counsellor alone and then with hubby or send hubby to him...whatever is suggested by the counsellor.
If hubby doesn't co-operate for this,then leave him with his problems and focus yourself in your child as well as in getting a good job for yourself. YOu are blessed with beauty,charm and education...surely these will land you in a desired job.So take a plunge and start working. don't waste time in other issues. Financial independence and intellectual activeness will help you deviate from petty matters. For the sake of your child,be EXXXTREMELY aware,consious and careful to maintain at least healthy, secure, harmonious, peaceful and comfortable environment at home with hubby otherwise if she grows up under a heavy silence of parents who are unloving to each other, she will be very anxiouus, emotionally imbalanced person who eventually herself won't be able to have a balanced-loving relationships in future. Be calm,patient and balanced. Live for yourself and your daughter. find a job at the earliest!
Good luck.